Chiswick (London, England) -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Terrace houses -- Fiction
At the present moment, however, it was not so much his appearance as his
actions that arrested the Walk’s attention. He had come in dreamily as
usual with his lack-lustre eyes seeing nothing in spite of their great
silver-rimmed spectacles. Suddenly his attention was attracted by
something lying at his feet. He stopped, picked it up laboriously, and
examined it minutely, pushing his spectacles over his forehead for the
purpose.
"Bless the man!" cried Mrs. Poskett. "He ’s picked up the Eyesore’s
filthy pipe!"
And now he was exhibiting all the symptoms of frantic joy. Utterly
unconscious of the people watching him, he indulged in delighted
chuckles, and his withered old legs quite independently of their
master’s volition executed a sort of grotesque dance. He looked very
much like a crane that had caught a fish.
"But why the step-dance?" exclaimed Mr. Brooke-Hoskyn, with a laugh.
Sir Peter hailed him. "Doctor Sternroyd, ahoy!"
The Doctor looked from one to the other in genuine amazement. It was
evident his mind had been wandering in some remote world.
"Dear me! Tut, tut!" he stammered. "I had not observed you!" Then,
with a radiant face, "Ah, my friends, congratulate me!"
All gathered round him, and the Admiral asked, "What about, Doctor?"
"This," said the reverend gentleman, holding up the trophy. "This. A
beautiful specimen of an early Elizabethan tobacco-pipe!"
It was with the greatest difficulty the Admiral restrained a great burst
of laughter from the onlookers. Mr. Brooke-Hoskyn got as far as "That,
sir? Why, that’s—" when a tremendous dig from the Admiral’s elbow
deprived him of his wind, and sent him backward clucking like an
infuriated turkey-cock.
"I do not wonder at your surprise," continued the antiquary. "Yes,
Ladies and Gentlemen, they are sometimes found in the alluvial deposit
of the Thames; but even my friend, the Archbishop of Canterbury, whose
specialty they are, does not possess so perfect a specimen in his entire
collection."
Again the Admiral was obliged to exercise all his authority in order to
suppress unseemly mirth or explanations. Doctor Sternroyd went on with
the tone of regret assumed by a man of learning in the presence of an
ignorant and unappreciative audience. "Ah, you don’t understand the
value of these things. Out of this fragment it is possible to
reconstruct an entire epoch. I see Sir Walter Raleigh’s fleet bringing
home the fragrant weed from the distant plantations; I see him enjoying
its vapours in his pleasaunce at Sherborne; I see Drake solacing himself
with it on board the Golden Hind. Yes, yes, I shall read a paper on
it.—Ah! if only my dear wife, my beloved Araminta, were here now!" With
mingled melancholy and triumph he drifted across the lawn and into his
house—the last house of the crescent.
"Amazing!" said Mr. Brooke-Hoskyn; "but why would n’t you let me tell
him, Sir Peter?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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