"Yes," cried my mother, "and he's gone away with it on his conscience,
that's some comfort. He won't come back in a hurry; he thinks he has
committed murder, the unfeeling brute! Well, I've had my revenge."
And as she twisted up her hair, my mother burst out screaming:
"Little Bopeep, she lost her sheep.
And couldn't tell where to find him;
She found him, indeed, but it made her heart bleed,
For he left his tail behind him."
"Why, then, doctor, it was all sham," exclaimed I.
"Yes; and the doctor's come on a fool's errand--
"'Goosey, Goosey Gander,
Whither dost thou wander?
Upstairs and downstairs,
And in a lady's chamber.'"
The doctor shrugged up his shoulders so that his head disappeared
between them. At last he said, "Your mother don't want me, Jack, that's
very clear. Good-morning, Mrs. Saunders."
"A very good-morning to you, Dr. Tadpole," replied my mother with a
profound courtesy; "you'll oblige me by quitting this room and shutting
the door after you, if you please." As the doctor and I went down, my
mother continued the song--
"And then I met a little man,
Couldn't say his prayers,
I took him by the left leg
And sent him downstairs."
As soon as we were in the parlor, I acquainted the doctor with what had
happened. "I'm sure I thought she was dead," said I, when I had finished
the story.
"Jack, when I asked you where your mother was bad, external or
internal, you replied both, and a great deal more besides. So she
is--internally, externally, and infernally bad," said the doctor,
laughing. "And so she amputated your father's pigtail, did she, the
Delilah? Pity one could not amputate her head, it would make a good
woman of her. Good-by, Jack; I must go and look after Tom, he's
swallowed a whole yard of stick-liquorice by this time."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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