But I must now introduce a more important personage than even Lady
Hercules, which is my mother. They say "like master, like man," and I
may add, "like lady, like maid." Lady Hercules was fine, but her maid
was still finer. Most people when they write their biography, if their
parents were poor, inform you that they left them a good name and
nothing else. Some parents cannot even do that; but all parents can at
all events leave their children a _pretty_ name, by taking a little
trouble at their baptism. My mother's name was Araminta, which, as my
father truly observed, was "a touch above the common." She had
originally gone into service as a nursery maid, living in her first
situation one year and nine months; in her second she remained two years
and four months; then she left to better herself, and obtained the
situation of nurse in a family where she remained two years and one
month; after which Lady Hercules then having a child of a year old, she
was received into her service. At three years old the child died, and
my mother was promoted to the situation of lady's maid. This
advancement quite spoiled her; she was prouder than her mistress, and
gave herself ten times more airs, and when, at first, my father (who as
coxswain was constantly up at the house) offered to speak to her, she
turned away from him in most ineffable disdain. Now my father was at
that time about thirty years of age, and thought no small beer of
himself, as the saying goes. He was a tall, handsome man, indeed, so
good-looking that they used to call him "Handsome Jack" on board of the
Druid, and he had, moreover, a pigtail of most extraordinary size and
length, of which he was not a little proud, as it hung down far below
the waistband of his trousers. His hair was black and glossy, and his
lovelocks, as the sailors term the curls which they wear on their
temples, were of the most insinuating description. Now, as my father
told me, when he first saw my mother with her sky-scraping cap at the
back of her head, so different from the craft in general, he was very
much inclined to board her; but when she boomed him off in that style,
my father, who was quite the rage and fancy man among the ladies of
Sally Port and Castle Rag, hauled his wind in no time, hitching up his
white trousers and turning short round on his heel, so as to present his
back to her whenever they happened to meet. For a long time he gave her
a wide berth. Now this fact of my father returning her disdain had the
usual effect. At first she was very savage, and when she spoke of him
to Lady Hercules, she designated him as "that proud coxswain, who seemed
to think himself a greater man than Sir Hercules himself--with his
filthy pigtail, indeed!" My father also, when he spoke of her to the
boat's crew, termed her "that proud --- of a lady's maid," the word not
mentionable being both canine and feminine. Thus matters went on for
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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