Americans -- England -- Fiction; Authors -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Love stories
"I wonder, if I were allowed to, whether I would condemn Laurence to be
burnt alive. Wasn't there a Saint Laurence who was grilled? I really
believe I would almost grill him, I really do. There's something
exceptionally irritating to me about that man's whole personality. And
I'm not at all sure I approve of a clergyman's giving up his beliefs.
One might get a line out of that, by the way--something about a
weathercock and a church steeple. I don't think a clergyman ought to
surrender so easily. It's his business not to be influenced by modern
thought. This passion for realism is everywhere.... Thank goodness, I've
been through it and got over it and put it behind me forever. It's a
most unprofitable creed. What was my circulation as a realist? I once
reached four thousand. What's four thousand? Why, it isn't half the
population of Galton. And now Laurence Armitage takes up with it after
being a vicar for ten years. Idiot! Religion isn't realistic: it never
was realistic. Religion is the entertainment of man's spirituality just
as the romantic drama is the entertainment of his mentality. I don't
read Anatole France for my representation of Joan of Arc. What business
has Laurence to muddle his head with--what's his name--Colonel
Ingoldsby--Ingersoll--when he ought to be thinking about his Harvest
Festival? And then he has the effrontery to compare my work with that
bureau! If that's all his religion meant to him--that ridiculous piece
of gimcrack gothic, no wonder it wouldn't hold together. Why, the green
fumed oak of a sentimental rationalism would be better than that.
Confound Laurence! I knew this would happen when he came. He's taken my
mind completely off my own work. I can't write a word this morning."
John rushed away from his manuscript and weeded furiously down a
secluded border until the gardener told him he had weeded away the
autumn-sown sweet-peas that were coming along nicely and standing the
early frosts a treat.
"I'm not even allowed to weed my own garden now," John thought, burking
the point at issue; and his disillusionment became so profound that he
actually invited Harold to go for a walk with him.
"Can I bring my blow-pipe?" asked the young naturalist, gleefully.
"You don't want to load yourself up with soap and water," said John.
"Keep that till you come in."
"My South American blow-pipe, Uncle John. It's a real one which father
sent home. It belonged to a little Indian boy, but the darts aren't
poisoned, father told mother."
"Don't you be too sure," John advised him. "Explorers will say
anything."
"Well, can I bring it?"
"No, we'll take a non-murderous walk for a change. I'm tired of being
shunned by the common objects of the countryside."
"Well, shall I bring _Ants_, _Bees_, and _Wasps_?"
"Certainly not. We don't want to go trailing about Hampshire like two
jam sandwiches."
"I mean the book."
"No, if you want to carry something, you can carry my cleek and six golf
balls."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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