every additional year spent at the University but served to emphasize
its inadequacy. It was so also with the books she read and the thoughts
and actions of the older people about her. Her aunt and uncle did not
talk much, but seemed to take it for granted she wanted to live such
another life as they were living. She thought with horror of the
probability of marrying a maker of plows or of some other dull necessity
of life and then spending her days in the making of stockings for babies
that did not come, or in some other equally futile manifestation of her
dissatisfaction. She realized with a shudder that men like her uncle,
who spent their lives in adding up rows of figures or doing over and
over some tremendously trivial thing, had no conception of any outlook
for their women beyond living in a house, serving them physically,
wearing perhaps good enough clothes to help them make a show of
prosperity and success, and drifting finally into a stupid acceptance
of dullness--an acceptance that both she and the passionate, twisted man
beside her were fighting against.
In a class in the University Clara had met, during that her third year
there, a woman named Kate Chanceller, who had come to Columbus with her
brother from a town in Missouri, and it was this woman who had given her
thoughts form, who had indeed started her thinking of the inadequacy of
her life. The brother, a studious, quiet man, worked as a chemist in a
manufacturing plant somewhere at the edge of town. He was a musician and
wanted to become a composer. One evening during the winter his sister
Kate had brought Clara to the apartment where the two lived, and the
three had become friends. Clara had learned something there that she did
not yet understand and never did get clearly into her consciousness.
The truth was that the brother was like a woman and Kate Chanceller, who
wore skirts and had the body of a woman, was in her nature a man. Kate
and Clara spent many evenings together later and talked of many things
not usually touched on by girl students. Kate was a bold, vigorous
thinker and was striving to grope her way through her own problem in
life and many times, as they walked along the street or sat together
in the evening, she forgot her companion and talked of herself and the
difficulties of her position in life. “It's absurd the way things are
arranged,” she said. “Because my body is made in a certain way I'm
supposed to accept certain rules for living. The rules were not made
for me. Men manufactured them as they manufacture can-openers, on the
wholesale plan.” She looked at Clara and laughed. “Try to imagine me in
a little lace cap, such as your aunt wears about the house, and spending
my days knitting baby stockings,” she said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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