After the departure of Sarah and Henry Shepard Hugh continued to
struggle with his inclination to give way to dreams. It seemed to him a
struggle it was necessary to win in order that he might show his respect
and appreciation of the woman who had spent so many long hours laboring
with him. Although, under her tutelage, he had received a better
education than any other young man of the river town, he had lost none
of his physical desire to sit in the sun and do nothing. When he worked,
every task had to be consciously carried on from minute to minute.
After the woman left, there were days when he sat in the chair in the
telegraph office and fought a desperate battle with himself. A queer
determined light shone in his small gray eyes. He arose from the chair
and walked up and down the station platform. Each time as he lifted one
of his long feet and set it slowly down a special little effort had to
be made. To move about at all was a painful performance, something he
did not want to do. All physical acts were to him dull but necessary
parts of his training for a vague and glorious future that was to come
to him some day in a brighter and more beautiful land that lay in the
direction thought of rather indefinitely as the East. “If I do not move
and keep moving I'll become like father, like all of the people about
here,” Hugh said to himself. He thought of the man who had bred him
and whom he occasionally saw drifting aimlessly along Main Street or
sleeping away a drunken stupor on the river bank. He was disgusted with
him and had come to share the opinion the station master's wife had
always held concerning the people of the Missouri village. “They're a
lot of miserable lazy louts,” she had declared a thousand times, and
Hugh, agreed with her, but sometimes wondered if in the end he might not
also become a lazy lout. That possibility he knew was in him and for
the sake of the woman as well as for his own sake he was determined it
should not be so.
The truth is that the people of Mudcat Landing were totally unlike any
of the people Sarah Shepard had ever known and unlike the people Hugh
was to know during his mature life. He who had come from a people not
smart was to live among smart energetic men and women and be called
a big man by them without in the least understanding what they were
talking about.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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