Clara left home to become a college student that fall, but before she
left had another passage at arms with her father. In August a young man
who was to teach in the town schools came to Bidwell, and she met him
at a supper given in the basement of the church. He walked home with her
and came on the following Sunday afternoon to call. She introduced the
young man, a slender fellow with black hair, brown eyes, and a serious
face, to her father who answered by nodding his head and walking away.
She and the young man walked along a country road and went into a wood.
He was five years older than herself and had been to college, but she
felt much the older and wiser. The thing that happens to so many women
had happened to her. She felt older and wiser than all the men she had
ever seen. She had decided, as most women finally decide, that there
are two kinds of men in the world, those who are kindly, gentle,
well-intentioned children, and those who, while they remain children,
are obsessed with stupid, male vanity and imagine themselves born to be
masters of life. Clara's thoughts on the matter were not very clear.
She was young and her thoughts were indefinite. She had, however, been
shocked into an acceptance of life and she was made of the kind of stuff
that survives the blows life gives.
In the wood with the young school teacher, Clara began an experiment.
Evening came on and it grew dark. She knew her father would be furious
that she did not come home but she did not care. She led the school
teacher to talk of love and the relationships of men and women. She
pretended an innocence that was not hers. School girls know many things
that they do not apply to themselves until something happens to them
such as had happened to Clara. The farmer's daughter became conscious.
She knew a thousand things she had not known a month before and began to
take her revenge upon men for their betrayal of her. In the darkness as
they walked home together, she tempted the young man into kissing her,
and later lay in his arms for two hours, entirely sure of herself,
striving to find out, without risk to herself, the things she wanted to
know about life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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