Portland, Oregon, A.D. 1999, and other sketchesHayes, J. W. (Jeff W.)
Science
Portland, Oregon, A.D. 1999, and other sketches
Hayes, J. W. (Jeff W.)
American fiction -- 20th century; Portland (Or.) -- Fiction; Short stories, American
"All these are very familiar names to you and they all appear in the
telephone directory for 1999, but I must give you a few more whom you
will remember, and the old lady read off the following list which
sounded good to me: John Beck, Whitney Boise, Geo. Brice, Bronaugh,
Citron, D. S. Cohen, Craib, Dolph, Mallory, Duniway, Emmons, Ferrera,
Fouts, Carey, Gleason, Glisan, Hogue, Green, Hazen, Holman, Hume, C. M.
Idleman, Languth, Logan, Wallace McCamant, McDevitt, L. A. McNary,
Moody, Morris, G. C. Moser, Munley, Olsen, Pague, Pipes, F. J.
Richardson, Giltner, Chas. J. Schnabel, Shillock, Zera Snow, S. Raynor,
Stott, Sweek, Swope, Jos. N. Teal, Upton, Vaughn, Webster, Whalley,
Whitfield, Williams, Ryan, Thos. O'Day, Tazwell.
"I must interrupt the routine to tell you something about the innovation
in barbering," remarked the old lady, reaching for a paper in her
pocketbook.
"Let's see, it occurred in A. D. 1951, that an old chemist made a
discovery. He ascertained that by a concoction of sage, sulphur and
some other ingredients hair can be removed from the face efficaciously
and as clean as a barber could shave you. The preparation was made up
into some kind of a soap and the lather applied to the whiskers and
allowed to remain for three minutes when it was washed off with clean
water. This process removed hair from the face without injury to the
skin, doing away entirely with the services of a tonsorial artist. It is
a wonderful discovery, but it had the bad effect of putting a number of
good men out of business."
"I wonder how this discovery affected my friend, Frank Rogers?" I asked.
"Well," was the reply, "this occurred in 1951 and I expect that Frank
was not caring much for the barber business then, as he got rich in the
business prior to that time."
Continuing, the old lady said, "There are now not any more tonsorial
apartments than existed in A. D. 1913 and the sphere of usefulness of
that kind of talent is confined to hair cutting, massaging and such
like."
The world wags on. "Why," continued my visitor, "you can leave your
measure for a pair of shoes to order and you may come back in 10 minutes
and find them all ready to take away with you. The same can be said
about getting a suit of clothes which takes just 60 minutes to construct
and be ready for wear."
"Who's in the banking business that I know, away off there on the verge
of time?" I asked of my companion.
"Oh, there are many whom you know," was her reply. "At least, you will
remember the names of many. Ladd & Tilton still conduct their business
and I notice a number of the name of Ladd connected with the institution
as I take it that the estate is still in the banking business.
"Then there is First National Bank with many familiar names like
Corbett, Failing, Alvord, Newkirk, which indicates that the new
generation are a branch of the former tree.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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