Suddenly he sprang up and began to walk the room. The effect on Harkness
was strange--it was as though he were suddenly shut in there with an
animal. So often in zoological gardens he had seen that haunting
monotonous movement, that encounter with the bars of the cage and the
indifferent acceptance of their inevitability, indifferent only because
of endless repetition. Crispin, padding now up and down the long room,
reminded Harkness of one of the smaller animals, the little jaguars, the
half-wolf, half-fox; his head forward, his hands crossed behind his
short thick back, his eyes, restless now, moving here, there about the
room, his movements soft, almost furtive, every instinct towards escape.
As he moved in the room half-clouded with light, the soft resolute step
pervaded Harkness's sense, and soon the thick confined scent of a caged
animal seemed to creep up to his nostrils and linger there.
Furry--captive--danger hanging behind the plodding step, so that if a
sudden release were to come. . . . And he sat there fixed in his seat as
though nailed to it while the sweet voice continued: "And so, my dear
Mr. Harkness, I have devoted my later years to the solution of this
problem.
"I feel, if I may say so, without too much arrogance, that I am
intending to help poor human nature along the road to a better
understanding of life. Poor, muddled human nature. Defeated always by
Fear. Yes, Fear. And if they have surmounted Pain and stand with their
foot on its body, what remains? It is gone, vanished. I myself am
increasing my power every day. First one, then another. First through
Pain. Then through Love. I love all the world, yes, everything in it,
but first it must be taught, and it is so reluctant--so strangely
reluctant--to receive its teaching. And I myself suffer because I am too
tender-hearted. I should myself be superior to the suffering of others
because I know how good it is for them to suffer. But I am not. Alas,
no. It is only where my indignation is aroused, and aroused justly, that
I can conquer my tenderness, and then--well then . . . I can make my
important experiments. My daughter-in-law, for instance. . . ."
He paused, not far from Harkness, and once again his hands made a
curious motion in the air as though he were transcribing a bar of music.
He stepped close to Harkness. His breath, scented curiously with a faint
odour of orange, was in Harkness's face. He leaned forward, his hands
were on Harkness's shoulders.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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