"How often do you hear these voices--not all the time? Do you hear them
in the night?"
"I hear them at any time--day or night. I have tried not to notice them,
I pretend that I do not hear them. I do my best to forget them. I have
prayed to God that He will make these voices cease troubling me, that He
will make them go away; but nothing seems to do any good."
"What kind of things do these voices say? Do they seem to be talking to
you directly?"
"Sometimes they do, sometimes they seem to be talking about me, as if
two or three persons were discussing me, criticizing me. They say very
unkind things. It seems as if they read my thoughts and make
mischievous, wicked comments on them. Sometimes they say horrid things,
disgusting things. Sometimes they give me orders. I am to do this or
that; or I am not to do this or that. Sometimes they say the same word
over and over again, many times. It was that way when I went out on the
battlefield to help Captain Herrick. As I ran along, stumbling over the
dead and wounded, I heard these voices crying out: 'Fool! Fool! Don't do
it! You mustn't do it! You're a coward! You know you're a coward! You're
going to be killed! You're a little fool to get yourself killed!'"
"And yet you went on? You did not obey these voices?"
"I went on because I was desperate. I tell you I wanted to die. What is
the use of living if one is persecuted like this? There is nothing to
live for, is there?"
He met her pathetic look with confidence.
"I think there is, Mrs. Wells. There is a lot to live for. Those
hallucinations and dreams are not as uncommon as you think. I could give
you cases of shell shock patients who have suffered in this way and come
back to normal health. You have been through enough, my young friend, to
bring about a somewhat hysterical condition that is susceptible of cure,
if you will put yourself in favorable conditions. Do you mind if I ask
you straight out whether you have any objections to marrying a second
time?"
"N--no, that is to say I--er----" The color burned in her cheeks and
Owen took note of this under his grizzled brows.
"As an old friend of the family--I mean Herrick's family--may I ask you
if you would have any objection to Captain Herrick as a
husband--assuming that you are willing to accept any husband?"
"I like Captain Herrick very much, I--I think I care for him more than
any man I know, but----"
"Well? If you love Herrick and he loves you----" Owen broke off here
with a new thought, "Ah, perhaps that is the trouble, perhaps Captain
Herrick has not told you that he loves you? I hope, dear lady, I am not
forcing your confidence?"
"No, doctor, I want you to know. Captain Herrick cares for me, he loves
me, he has asked me to marry him, but--I have refused him."
"But why--if you love him? Why refuse him?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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