And it came to pass that a man with a Cathode Ray went about the country finding out and showing the people, for a consideration, the insides of folks' heads and what they were thinking about. And he never made a mistake. And in a certain town lived a man whose name was Reuben and a maid whose name was Ruth. And the two were sweethearts and were soon to be married. And Reuben came to the man and hired him with coin to take a snap shot at Ruth's head, and find out whom she truly loved. And later on Ruth came and also hired the man to find out whom Reuben truly loved. And the man did so and got two good negatives. In the meantime Reuben and Ruth confessed to each other what they had done, and the next day they came together, hand in hand, to the man with the Ray, for their answer. The man saw them, and he wrote two names on two slips of paper and gave them into their hands. "On these slips of paper," he said, "you will find the name of the one whom each of you loves best in the world, as truly discovered by my wonderful Cathode Ray." And the man and the maid opened the pieces of paper and saw written on one "Reuben" and on the other "Ruth," and they were filled with joy and happiness, and went away with arms about each other's waists. But the man with the Ray neglected to mention the fact that the photographs he had taken showed that Reuben's head was full of deep and abiding love for Reuben and Ruth's showed her to be passionately enamored of Ruth. The moral is that the proprietor of the Ray probably knew his business. A Universal Favorite The most popular and best loved young lady in the United States is Miss Annie Williams of Philadelphia. Her picture is possessed by more men, and is more eagerly sought after than that of Lillian Russell, Mrs. Langtry, or any other famous beauty. There is more demand for her pictures than for the counterfeit presentments of all the famous men and women in the world combined. And yet she is a modest, charming, and rather retiring young lady, with a face less beautiful than of a clear and classic outline. Miss Williams is soon to be married, but it is expected that the struggle for her pictures will go on as usual. She is the lady the profile of whose face served as the model for the head of Liberty on our silver dollar. Spring A Dialect Poem Oh, dinna ye fash y'r sel' hinny, Varum kanst du nicht the thing see? Don't always be kicking, me darlint; Toujours le meme chose will not be. Tout le monde will grow brighter, ye spalpeen; Und das zeit will get better, you bet; Arrah! now will yez stop dot complainin' Und a creat pig quick move on you get. Ach, Gott! gina de monka a peanutte; Und schmile some, for sweet spring is here, Gott in himmel, carrambo das was sehr gut, Kase its purty nigh time fur bock beer. The Sporting Editor on Culture "Is the literary editor in?"