"Trot out, now," said the bartender. "There's a church member looking in the back door, and he won't come in till everybody's out." Ridiculous The following conundrum was left at the office yesterday by a young man, who immediately fled: "Why is the coming Sunday like a very young body?" Answer: "Because it's neck's weak." We do not see any reason why this should be the case. It is impossible for Sunday or any other day in the week to have a neck. The thing is printed merely to show what kind of stuff people send in to the paper. Guessed Everything Else A man with a long, sharp nose and a big bundle which he carried by a strap went up the steps of the gloomy-looking brick house, set his bundle down, rang the bell, and took off his hat and wiped his brow. A woman opened the door and he said: "Madam, I have a number of not only useful but necessary articles here that I would like to show you. First, I want you to look at these elegant illustrated books of travel and biography, written by the best authors. They are sold only by subscription. They are bound in--" "I don't care to see them. We have sm--" "Small children only, eh? Well, Madam, here are some building blocks that are very instructive and amusing. No? Well, let me show you some beautiful lace window curtains for your sitting room, handmade and a great bargain. I can--" "I don't want them. We have sm--" "Smoking in the house? It won't injure them in the least. Just shake them out in the morning and I guarantee not a vestige of tobacco smoke will remain. Here also I have a very ingenious bell for awakening lazy servants in the morning. You simply touch a button and--" "I tell you we have sm--" "Have smart servants, have you? Well, that is a blessing. Now, here is a clothes line that is one of the wonders of the age. It needs no pins and can be fastened to anything--fence, side of the house, or tree. It can be raised or lowered in an instant, and for a large washing is the most convenient and laborsaving invention that--" "I say we have small--" "Oh, you have a small family. Let's see, then I have here a--" "I'm trying to tell you," said the woman, "that we have smallpox in the family, and--" The long-nosed man made a convulsive grab at his goods and rolled down the steps in about two seconds, while the woman softly closed the door just as a man got out of a buggy and nailed a yellow flag on the house. The Prisoner of Zembla By Anthony Hoke So the king fell into a furious rage, so that none durst go near him for fear, and he gave out that since the Princess Astla had disobeyed him there would be a great tourney, and to the knight who should prove himself of the greatest valor he would give the hand of the princess. And he sent forth a herald to proclaim that he would do this.