American fiction -- 19th century; American poetry -- 19th century; American wit and humor; Short stories, American
"Then the editor's wife happened to come in to see if there was any
square, perfumed envelopes among his mail, and she read it. She was at
the Brown's party herself, and when she read the line that proclaimed
Miss Judkins 'The fairest of them all' she turned up her nose and
scratched that out.
"Then the editor himself got hold of it. He is heavily interested in
our new electric light plant, and his blue pencil jumped on the line
'While bright the gaslight shone' in a hurry. Later on one of the
printers came in and grabbed a lot of copy, and this poem was among
it. You know what printers will do if you give them a chance, so here
is the way the poem came out in the paper:
To Miss Judkins
(Visiting Mrs. T. Montcalm Brown.)
"We loved to see her wear
Nothing but a rose in her hair.
She stood with blushes red
Upon her lovely head.
"And you see," continued the old resident, "the Judkinses got mad."
Red Conlin's Eloquence
They were speaking of the power of great orators, and each one had
something to say of his especial favorite.
The drummer was for backing Bourke Cockran for oratory against the
world, the young lawyer thought the suave Ingersoll the most
persuasive pleader, and the insurance agent advanced the claims of the
magnetic W. C. P. Breckenridge.
"They all talk some," said the old cattle man, who was puffing his
pipe and listening, "but they couldn't hold a candle to Red Conlin,
that run cattle below Santone in '80. Ever know Red?"
Nobody had had the honor.
"Red Conlin was a natural orator; he wasn't overcrowded with book
learnin', but his words come free and easy, like whisky out of a new
faucet from a full barrel. He was always in a good humor and smilin'
clear across his face, and if he asked for a hot biscuit he did it
like he was pleadin' for his life. He was one man who had the gift of
gab, and it never failed him.
"I remember once, in Atascosa County, the hoss thieves worried us
right smart. There was a gang of 'em, and they got runnin' off a
caballaro every week or so. Some of us got together and raised a p'int
of order and concluded to sustain it. The head of the gang was a
fellow named Mullens, and a tough cuss he was. Fight, too, and warn't
particular when. Twenty of us saddled up and went into camp, loaded
down with six-shooters and Winchesters. That Mullens had the nerve to
try to cut off our saddle horses the first night, but we heard him,
got mounted, and went hot on his trail. There was five or six others
with Mullens.
"It was dark as thunder, and pretty soon we run one of them down. His
horse was lame, and we knew it was Mullens by his big white hat and
black beard. We didn't hardly give him time to speak, we was so mad,
but in two minutes there was a rope 'round his neck and Mullens was
swung up at last. We waited about ten minutes till he was still, and
then some fellow strikes a match out of curiosity and screeches out:
"'Gosh a'mighty, boys, we've strung up the wrong man!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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