"No, if it were not for cats, the old maids of Old England keep the country thoroughly stocked up with cats, and so we can directly trace the effects of the rosy English complexions to the benign cause of English old maids, at least that's what Huxley says about it, and that's just where the old maids come in. Science makes clear many mysterious things." * * * * * "Those picture cards I brought back from Boston," remarked Mrs. Partington, in a pensive mood. "They are momentums of the Art Loan Imposition." Don't give up in despair, girls. Naomi didn't marry until she was five hundred and eighty years old--and then she was sorry she hadn't waited a century longer. "Is you gwine to get an overcoat this winter?" asked a darkey of a companion. "Well I dunno how dat's gwine to be," was the reply. "I'se done got my eye on a coat, but de fellah dat owns it keeps his eye on it too." Her nephew had just come home from his day school. "What have you been learning this morning?" asked Mrs. Ramsbottom. "Mythology, aunt," answered the little man, "all about the heathen gods and goddesses." "Then I must brush up my memory," said Mrs. Ramsbottom, "and ask you a question or two. Now, first, who was Juniper?" "What is a limited monarchy, Johnny?" "Well, my idea of a limited monarchy is, where the ruler don't have much to rule." "Give an example?" "An example! Lemme see! Well, if you was bossin' yourself, for instance." It was at the close of the wedding breakfast. One of the guests arose, and, glass in hand, said: "I drink to the health of the bridegroom. May he see many days like this." The intention was good, but the bride looked as though something had displeased her. * * * * * ILLINOIS CENTRAL RAILROAD. The elegant equipment of coaches and sleepers being added to its various through routes is gaining it many friends. Its patrons fear no accidents. Its perfect track of steel, and solid road-bed, are a guarantee against them. * * * * * THE PRAIRIE FARMER AND YOUTH'S COMPANION One year, $3 for the two. It is not required that both papers be sent to one address, nor to the same post-office. Address PRAIRIE FARMER PUB CO., 150 Monroe Street. Chicago. * * * * * MISCELLANEOUS. ONE CENT invested in a postal card and addressed as below WILL give to the writer full information as to the best lands in the United States now for sale; how he can BUY them on the lowest and best terms, also the full text of the U.S. land laws and how to secure 320 ACRES of Government Lands in Northwestern Minnesota and Northeastern Dakota. ADDRESS: JAMES B. POWER, Land and Emigration Commissioner, ST. PAUL, MINN. * * * * *