Prejudices, fifth seriesMencken, H. L. (Henry Louis)
History
Prejudices, fifth series
Mencken, H. L. (Henry Louis)
American essays -- 20th century; American literature -- History and criticism; Literature -- History and criticism
From the great limb of a mighty oak hung a couple of crude torches of
the sort that car inspectors thrust under Pullman cars when a train
pulls in at night. In the guttering glare was the preacher, and for
a while we could see no one else. He was an immensely tall and thin
mountaineer in blue jeans, his collarless shirt open at the neck and
his hair a tousled mop. As he preached he paced up and down under the
smoking flambeaux, and at each turn he thrust his arms into the air and
yelled “Glory to God!” We crept nearer in the shadow of the cornfield,
and began to hear more of his discourse. He was preaching on the Day
of Judgment. The high kings of the earth, he roared, would all fall
down and die; only the sanctified would stand up to receive the Lord
God of Hosts. One of these kings he mentioned by name, the king of what
he called Greece-y. The king of Greece-y, he said, was doomed to hell.
We crawled forward a few more yards and began to see the audience. It
was seated on benches ranged round the preacher in a circle. Behind him
sat a row of elders, men and women. In front were the younger folk. We
crept on cautiously, and individuals rose out of the ghostly gloom. A
young mother sat suckling her baby, rocking as the preacher paced up
and down. Two scared little girls hugged each other, their pigtails
down their backs. An immensely huge mountain woman, in a gingham dress,
cut in one piece, rolled on her heels at every “Glory to God!” To one
side, and but half visible, was what appeared to be a bed. We found
afterward that half a dozen babies were asleep upon it.
The preacher stopped at last, and there arose out of the darkness a
woman with her hair pulled back into a little tight knot. She began so
quietly that we couldn’t hear what she said, but soon her voice rose
resonantly and we could follow her. She was denouncing the reading
of books. Some wandering book agent, it appeared, had come to her
cabin and tried to sell her a specimen of his wares. She refused
to touch it. Why, indeed, read a book? If what was in it was true,
then everything in it was already in the Bible. If it was false, then
reading it would imperil the soul. This syllogism from Caliph Omar
complete, she sat down. There followed a hymn, led by a somewhat fat
brother wearing silver-rimmed country spectacles. It droned on for
half a dozen stanzas, and then the first speaker resumed the floor.
He argued that the gift of tongues was real and that education was
a snare. Once his children could read the Bible, he said, they had
enough. Beyond lay only infidelity and damnation. Sin stalked the
cities. Dayton itself was a Sodom. Even Morgantown had begun to forget
God. He sat down, and a female aurochs in gingham got up. She began
quietly, but was soon leaping and roaring, and it was hard to follow
her. Under cover of the turmoil we sneaked a bit closer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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