Prejudices, fourth seriesMencken, H. L. (Henry Louis)
History
Prejudices, fourth series
Mencken, H. L. (Henry Louis)
American essays -- 20th century; American literature -- History and criticism; Literature -- History and criticism
Not much gift for Vision is needed to imagine the main outlines of
the ensuing _Kultur_. The city man, as now, will bear nine-tenths of
the tax burden; the rural total immersionist will make all the laws.
With Genesis firmly lodged in the Testament of the Fathers he will be
ten times as potent as he is now and a hundred times as assiduous. No
constitutional impediment will remain to cripple his moral fancy. The
Wesleyan code of Kansas and Mississippi, Vermont and Minnesota will
be forced upon all of us by the full military and naval power of the
United States. Civilization will gradually become felonious everywhere
in the Republic, as it already is in Arkansas. What I sing, I suppose,
is a sort of Utopia. But it is not the Utopia of bawdy poets and
metaphysicians; it is not the familiar Utopia of the books. It is a
Utopia dreamed by simpler and more virtuous men--by seven millions of
Christian bumpkins, far-flung in forty-eight sovereign States. They
dream it on their long journeys down the twelve billion furrows of
their seven million farms, up hill and down dale in the heat of the
day. They dream it behind the egg-stove on Winter nights, their boots
off and their socks scorching, Holy Writ in their hands. They dream it
as they commune with _Bos taurus_, _Sus scrofa_, _Mephitis mephitis_,
the Methodist pastor, the Ford agent. It floats before their eyes
as they scan the Sears-Roebuck catalogue for horse liniment, porous
plasters and Bordeaux mixture; it rises before them when they assemble
in their Little Bethels to be instructed in the word of God, the plots
of the Pope, the crimes of the atheists and Jews; it transfigures the
chautauquan who looms before them with his Great Message. This Utopia
haunts and tortures them; they long to make it real. They have tried
prayer, and it has failed; now they turn to the secular arm. The
dung-fork glitters in the sun as the host prepares to march....
Well, these are the sweet-smelling and altruistic agronomists whose
sorrows are the _leit-motif_ of our politics, whose votes keep us
supplied with Bryans and Bleases, whose welfare is alleged to be the
chief end of democratic statecraft, whose patriotism is the so-called
bulwark of this so-called Republic!
III. HIGH AND GHOSTLY MATTERS
I
_The Cosmic Secretariat_
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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