‘Happy and happy, there are so many hundred ways,’ said Otto. ‘A man may
be happy in revolt; he may be happy in sleep; wine, change, and travel
make him happy; virtue, they say, will do the like—I have not tried; and
they say also that in old, quiet, and habitual marriages there is yet
another happiness. Happy, yes; I am happy if you like; but I will tell
you frankly, I was happier when I brought you home.’
‘Well,’ said the Princess, not without constraint, ‘it seems you changed
your mind.’
‘Not I,’ returned Otto, ‘I never changed. Do you remember, Seraphina, on
our way home, when you saw the roses in the lane, and I got out and
plucked them? It was a narrow lane between great trees; the sunset at
the end was all gold, and the rooks were flying overhead. There were
nine, nine red roses; you gave me a kiss for each, and I told myself that
every rose and every kiss should stand for a year of love. Well, in
eighteen months there was an end. But do you fancy, Seraphina, that my
heart has altered?’
‘I am sure I cannot tell,’ she said, like an automaton.
‘It has not,’ the Prince continued. ‘There is nothing ridiculous, even
from a husband, in a love that owns itself unhappy and that asks no more.
I built on sand; pardon me, I do not breathe a reproach—I built, I
suppose, upon my own infirmities; but I put my heart in the building, and
it still lies among the ruins.’
‘How very poetical!’ she said, with a little choking laugh, unknown
relentings, unfamiliar softnesses, moving within her. ‘What would you be
at?’ she added, hardening her voice.
‘I would be at this,’ he answered; ‘and hard it is to say. I would be at
this:—Seraphina, I am your husband after all, and a poor fool that loves
you. Understand,’ he cried almost fiercely, ‘I am no suppliant husband;
what your love refuses I would scorn to receive from your pity. I do not
ask, I would not take it. And for jealousy, what ground have I? A
dog-in-the-manger jealousy is a thing the dogs may laugh at. But at
least, in the world’s eye, I am still your husband; and I ask you if you
treat me fairly? I keep to myself, I leave you free, I have given you in
everything your will. What do you in return? I find, Seraphina, that
you have been too thoughtless. But between persons such as we are, in
our conspicuous station, particular care and a particular courtesy are
owing. Scandal is perhaps not easy to avoid; but it is hard to bear.’
‘Scandal!’ she cried, with a deep breath. ‘Scandal! It is for this you
have been driving!’
‘I have tried to tell you how I feel,’ he replied. ‘I have told you that
I love you—love you in vain—a bitter thing for a husband; I have laid
myself open that I might speak without offence. And now that I have
begun, I will go on and finish.’
‘I demand it,’ she said. ‘What is this about?’
Otto flushed crimson. ‘I have to say what I would fain not,’ he
answered. ‘I counsel you to see less of Gondremark.’
‘Of Gondremark? And why?’ she asked.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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