Professor Tim & Paul Twyning : $b Comedies in three actsShiels, George
General
Professor Tim & Paul Twyning : $b Comedies in three acts
Shiels, George
Comedy plays; English drama -- Irish authors
KILROY. That satisfies me entirely, Briget. I told Mrs. Kilroy it was
only a rumour. But she was uneasy. You see the legacy come by her
sister....
MRS. S. Well, till your wife comes over here and tells me out of her
own mouth that she’s satisfied, there’ll be no match--not if Joseph
owned a million.
JOHN. Hey, James! What do you think of that? This lady of mine
doesn’t mince words.
KILROY. I didn’t expect this, Briget. But it has to be met. When the
Council gets into a fix I have to get them out of it. [_Thinks._]
Listen, Briget. What’s the matter with you coming over to our place and
talking things over with Mrs. Kilroy? I’ll give you all the assistance I
can....
MRS. S. I’ll want no assistance, James. I won’t go.
JOHN. Hey!
KILROY [_slowly_]. Well, maybe I’ll be able to manage Mrs. Kilroy
myself. You know what a mother is, Briget, where her oldest son is
concerned. She maybe had something bigger in her eye for Joseph.
MRS. S. She may’ve had something bigger but she’d nothing better in
her eye then Peggy Scally. And you can tell your wife I said so.
JOHN. Holy tattler! that’s the best yet. Honour where honour’s due.
Outrageous, Briget.
KILROY. You’re making it very hard for me, Briget. You’ve no
conception of my difficulty....
JOHN. I think I understand it, James....
MRS. S. Silence, John.... There needn’t be any difficulty at all,
James. If my daughter’s not good enough for your wife there’s no harm
done. And if your wife’s coming, James, bring her to-night, for the
Professor may be here to-morrow and he mightn’t want to meet
strangers....
KILROY [_slaps his leg_]. That’s the solution of the problem! There’s
no problem without a solution. Mrs. Kilroy has a weakness for
distinguished people. She’ll want to hear all about the Professor from
his sister. What time to-night, Briget, would suit your convenience?
MRS. S. About six.
KILROY. Good. She’ll come in that door on the stroke of six. And now
for the next item. If Joseph and Peggy make a match of it, what about
buying them O’Cahan’s farm? Eh? Rush Hill.
JOHN [_gasps_]. Hey! Rush Hill.
MRS. S. James Kilroy, you’re a big, bold, clear-headed man!
KILROY. Are you only finding that out now, Briget? The people have
been saying that for years.
MRS. S. I always knew you had ability. Your wife had none.
KILROY. Quite right, Briget. And your husband had none. No offence,
John.
JOHN. Oh, lord no, James! Nothing in that to take offence at. I never
put up to’ve ability. I’d no need of ability. I’ve always made my living
with my hands and feet.
KILROY. Well, we know now where we stand. The next is a question of
money. If I buy Rush Hill will you stock it, Briget?
JOHN. Hey! That’s one for yourself, Briget.
MRS. S. That’s a very important item, James. It would take five or
six hundred pounds to stock it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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