PEGGY. All well, thank you. Do you take meal or coppers? PROF. I take neither meal nor coppers, sweetheart. But you can gimme a kiss if you like. Gum, I won’t object.... O’C. [_draws out to floor him, but stops_]. Eh! Gad, that old face of yours looks homely.... PROF. And begum, mister, that fist of yours looks awful homely to me. You draw out to scatter a man like an O’Cahan. O’C. Exactly. O’Cahan of Rush Hill. PROF. Sorry. Your pony and trap’s in trouble down the lane. It’s turned turtle in a ditch.... JOSEPH. It’s mine ... mine.... [_Runs out back._] PROF. [_looking around_]. I wonder to Gawd am I in the wrong shop after all! Whose bungalow’s this? O’C. You’re all right, Professor. This is John Scally’s bungalow.... PEGGY. What! Professor! Oh, sacred trust! PROF. Whoa, gal. Don’t be so obvious. [_To O’C._] Who’s this exclamatory female? O’C. Your own niece, Professor. Miss Peggy Scally. PROF. Hallo, sweetheart! Gum, I’ve travelled seven times round the world and never seen a sweeter face. [_Hobbles nearer PEGGY._] Shake hands, pigeon, with uncle Tim. The old Professor.... PEGGY. Go away! Keep back! [_Screams._] Mother! mother! _MRS. S. comes in._ PROF. Hallo, sister Briget. Gum, you haven’t aged an hour. Re-markable. MRS. S. [_stunned_]. Aaaaaah! O’C. Sister Briget doesn’t seem able to place you, Professor. You must have changed a little yourself since you were here.... PROF. Gum, man, I’ve been near dead a dozen times since that. Malaria in Nigeria, yellow-jack in Panama, snake-bite in Siam, and various other accidents by land and sea.... O’C. And liquor. PROF. No, sir. I’m a strong temperance man. A bit of a temperance crank, in fact. [_Chuckles._] Accidents by land and sea and soda water. MRS. S. So after raking the gutters of the world you’ve come back to see us! PROF. Gum, it’s about time I’d pay my respects. Why it must be twenty years since I lookt you up.... MRS. S. Well, you’ve looked us up at last. You’ve seen me, and I’ve seen you. Let that do you for the rest of your natural life. There’s the door. Step out and don’t come back. We harbour no rakes here--young or old. PROF. [_astonished_]. Gum, this is a surprise! This is a nice reception to give the Professor brother after a lifetime abroad. It’s downright unfriendly.... O’C. A little chilly. PROF. A _little_ chilly! Mister, it’s frost and snow. MRS. S. Master Hugh, if you don’t hurry home you’ll not be in time for your auction. O’C. Thanks, madam. I’m off. I’m not as far down as I thought. [_Goes out back._] MRS. S. You ruffian! what brought you back here in that condition? PROF. Don’t ask double-barrelled questions, sister. My object in coming here and the condition I arrive in are two different things. Take it point by point. MRS. S. What brought you here at all? PROF. For a holiday. A complete rest.