Professor Tim & Paul Twyning : $b Comedies in three actsShiels, George
General
Professor Tim & Paul Twyning : $b Comedies in three acts
Shiels, George
Comedy plays; English drama -- Irish authors
MRS. S. [_places pen and paper under JOHN’S nose_]. John Scally, you
never disobeyed me since the morning I married you! I told James Kilroy
to buy Rush Hill and you would sign this paper. He’s making a home for
your daughter. Now then. Take the pen in your hand and write your
name....
JOHN [_wavering_]. I’d rather not, Briget....
MRS. S. Lift the pen!
JOHN [_picks up pen, he is trembling violently_]. I know nothing
about Banks or bills....
MRS. S. Write your name!
JOHN [_hesitating_]. I know in my heart I shouldn’t do this....
PROF. Johnny Scally! if you sign that paper every small boy in the
parish ’ll laff at you.
JOHN [_throws down pen and jumps up_]. I’m cursed over again if I
sign it! [_Sweeps pen and paper and tumblers off table._] Take the whole
thing away to blazes out of my sight and sign it yourselves!
PROF. Bully Johnny! That’s the first time I’ve ever seen you in
pants.
JOHN [_raging_]. I’ll not be made a scarecrow of any longer! Nobody
ever signed a bill for me, and I’ll sign nothing for no man! [_Sits
down._]
MRS. S. I’ll not affront myself before these people, John, but I’ll
make you rue this night’s work.
JOHN. From this night forth--aye, from this minute--you’ll take your
own place in this house and I’ll take mine!
PROF. Sit down, sister. You’re beaten to the ropes. Your despotic
reign is over. Johnny’s cock of the walk.
_O’C. comes in back. He wears a tweed suit and has an overcoat
and suitcase._
O’C. I apologise for interrupting the picnic. But I want one word
with you, Mr. Allison.
ALLISON. Shall we go outside?
O’C. It isn’t necessary. I’m going off to-night. There’s the key of
Rush Hill. That’ll save you any trouble.
ALLISON [_taking key_]. O’Cahan, you’re a prince.
O’C. Don’t mention it.
_PEGGY goes off quietly to the room._
ALLISON. I’ve a car, Hugh. Won’t you let me drive you in?
O’C. I’ll be very glad of a lift. I don’t think I ever walked to town
in my life. [_Turns to JOHN_] John, I owe you forty pounds for a foal.
JOHN [_angrily_]. You owe me nothing! You buried the foal....
O’C. [_taking out roll of money_]. You couldn’t help that, John. It
might as readily have won the Derby. There’s your money. [_Lays it on
the table._]
JOHN. Will you take a luckpenny?
O’C. A luckpenny for a dead foal! Ah, John, that’s too thin!
JOHN. Will you let me shake hands with you?
O’C [_holding out his hand_]. I’m very glad you want to, John. [_They
shake._]
JOHN. Good-bye, Hugh. And remember this: John Scally always wished
you well.
O’C. Thanks, John. I always thought so.
_PEGGY comes in dressed for travelling._
PEGGY. Now, Hugh. Are you ready?
MRS. S. [_jumps up_]. What! Where are you going, Peggy?
PEGGY. I don’t really know yet. Wherever Hugh’s going.
PROF. Bully Peggy?
MRS. S. Peggy Scally, you’re mad! You won’t cross the threshold this
night!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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