Professor Tim & Paul Twyning : $b Comedies in three actsShiels, George
General
Professor Tim & Paul Twyning : $b Comedies in three acts
Shiels, George
Comedy plays; English drama -- Irish authors
JOHN. By the hedges, I’d rather hear that than a thousand pound!
[_Sits down._]
PROF. Come and sit down, Hugh. Gum, I’m proud of my sex. A young
Irishman’s the noblest work of God.
_O’C. sits._
KILROY [_rising_]. Mr. Allison, I want to speak to you.
_KILROY and ALLISON go out back._
PEGGY [_puts off coat and hat_]. Shall I pour out the tea, mother?
PROF. Gum, she’s a cool one. As the poet says, “Mistress of herself,
though china fall.”
MRS. K. No tea for me. My jacket, please!
MRS. S. I’ll get it. [_Goes out for it._]
MRS. K. Go and put the horse in the trap, Joseph. You’ve had a very
narrow escape....
JOSEPH [_rising_]. I’ve Rush Hill anyway. And I can marry any gerril
I like in two counties. I don’t want anybody’s leavings.... [_Going to
the door back_] Look at this circus....
_JOSEPH stands aside to allow MOLL and PADDY to come in. Both
have been weeping. MOLL is still sniffing audibly. She has on
the new hat and dress, carries a big, ungainly bundle, and has
a cat in a basket. PADDY has a saddle and bridle and other
riding tackle strung about him._
MOLL [_not seeing O’C._]. We’ve seen the last av him ... and the last
av Rush Hill. [_Sniffs._] Och, hum! we’re all homeless this night, and
broken-hearted as a motherless colt.... May the holy saints--Colum,
Patrick, and Brigid--be with him wherever he goes....
O’C. Amen, Moll. The saints are all here.
MOLL. Oh, sweet heavens! Gimme another look at you.... [_Peering at
him_] I can hardly see you for my crying eyes....
PEGGY [_placing a chair_]. Sit down, Moll, and take a good look at
him.... What have you got in the basket?
MOLL. Ach, sure it’s the cat. Toby. We couldn’t lave him behind us to
be starved and beaten to death by the Kilroys. [_Sits._] Och, hum.
JOSEPH. Awwwwh! [_Goes out._]
PEGGY [_with a chair_]. Sit down, Paddy. We’re having tea.
PADDY [_sits_]. It’s good to be all here--if only for a minute--as
the swallows light on the road.
MRS. K. [_loudly_]. My jacket! My jacket!
_MRS. S. comes in with jacket._
MRS. S. This is getting a very distinguished gathering!
PROF. “Go ye out into the highways and byeways,” etc., etc.
JOHN. Briget, don’t be harsh. They’ve no home. Moll Flanagan has the
homeless cat in that basket. That’s a lesson to us all.
MRS. S. You’d think to hear you that I was a hard-hearted woman. But
I’ll let you see our mistake. If Peggy’s going away I’ll keep Moll
Flanagan and the cat as long as they like to stay.
JOHN. Good, Briget. I know’d the homeless cat would touch the
heart.... And Paddy could give the boys a hand with the harvest....
PEGGY. Moll, I’m going away with Hugh. Will you stay here till I send
for you?
MOLL. I will--if it was fifty years!
O’C. Paddy, you can hang around here, too, and give John a hand with
the horses, till you hear from me. That won’t be long.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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