Professor Tim & Paul Twyning : $b Comedies in three actsShiels, George
General
Professor Tim & Paul Twyning : $b Comedies in three acts
Shiels, George
Comedy plays; English drama -- Irish authors
PAUL [_takes parcel_]. Well, well. The coorse of true love never runs
smooth, and this is no exception.
ROSE. And good-bye to yourself, Paul.
PAUL [_takes her hand_]. I’m to blame for all this trouble, Rose.
I’ve riz a devil that I can’t lay.
ROSE. Oh, don’t say that, Paul.
PAUL. But I meant well, Rose. The first time I limped up to your door
you fed me and gimme a welcome change of socks.... And poor Dan gimme a
left-foot boot and said his father wanted a plasterer.
ROSE. Dan’s kind.
PAUL. Kind but unstable. I’d no sooner got this job than I commenced
plotting a match between yourself and Dan, for match-making is my hobby;
but, faith, I soon found that Dan was a shifty hero.
ROSE. He’s afraid of his father.
PAUL. That’s putting it mild enough, God knows. Mortal terror would
apply to it.
ROSE [_releases her hand_]. I must be going, Paul.... If my father
knew I was in here he’d kill me.
_DAN DEEGAN comes in back. He is wearing a cheap new raincoat, a
new hat, and carries a blackthorn and a tin box plastered with
gaudy American labels._
PAUL. Ah, sure here is Willy Reilly himself!
DAN. No sconcing now, Paul Twyning! I’m in flames if I’ll stand it!
You’re the means of getting me banished.
PAUL. I’ll leave you now, Dan, for you’re in a dangerous mood.
[_Gives ROSE parcel._] You can deliver that yourself. [_He goes out
back._]
ROSE. Maybe you wouldn’t take this, Dan? It’s a wee present.
DAN. Your fader met me in the town and flew at me like a tager!...
Hunted me into Pat’s yard and affronted me ....
ROSE. He’s in a terrible pucker.
DAN. He vows he’ll have my blood afore I put my fut on the boat.
ROSE. I’m going away, Dan ... to service.
DAN. Aye, so he said.... You’ll be well away.... I wish, Rose, you
were coming with myself ... across the raging main ... the angry
deep.... The emigration agent says I’ll make my fortune in six weeks
herding sheep in Philadelphy.... Will you come, Rose--to the land of the
setting sun?
ROSE. Not now, Dan. But if you send for me I’ll go.
DAN. That’s settled.... I’ll be as true as the stars above. [_Takes
the parcel._]
ROSE. It’s only a muffler.
DAN. The very thing I wanted.... I’ll wear it on deck of the good
ship ... and be thinking of yourself, Rose....
_DENIS M’GOTHIGAN’S angry voice is heard in the yard._
ROSE. Oh, Dan, Dan! My father!
DAN [_wildly_]. I’m in flames, but he’ll murder us!... In here ... in
here!
_They both go into the cupboard._
PAUL [_coming in back_]. I told you they weren’t here, Denis. But
you’re that misdoubtful. [_DENIS comes in._] Now search the house....
DENIS. They’re in here. They’re in this house somewhere. [_DENIS has
taken drink._] If I get my thumb on Dan I’ll not lave much of him to go
to Americky. [_Rushes over and looks into the room._] They’re not in
here....
PAUL. Nor they can’t be upstairs, for the stairs are blocked....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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