Proper pride : A novel. Volume 2 (of 3)Croker, B. M. (Bithia Mary)
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Proper pride : A novel. Volume 2 (of 3)
Croker, B. M. (Bithia Mary)
English fiction -- Irish authors
As each succeeding mail came in he said to himself, “Surely this will
bring a letter from Alice?” How he looked forward to mail-days no one
knew but himself; how buoyant were his spirits every Saturday morning,
how depressed that same evening, when, tossing over the newly-arrived
letters on the anteroom table, he would find one from Mark Mayhew,
one from his agent, and perhaps one from his tailor, but not a line
from his wife. He heard from the Mayhews that Alice had received and
acknowledged the confessions; and Mark, Helen, and Geoffrey each sent
him a long letter full of indignation and congratulation. The burden of
each of these epistles was the same, although couched in very different
style and language: it said, “Come home.” “Whenever his wife endorsed
their wishes, he would leave Bombay by the following mail.” This was
what he said to himself over and over again. Two months elapsed and no
letter came--not a line, not even a message. After making allowance
for every conceivable delay, he gradually and reluctantly relinquished
all hopes of the ardently-desired missive, and came to the conclusion
that nothing now remained for him to think but that she wished their
separation to be life-long.
One evening he mounted his horse and galloped out alone to one of his
former favourite haunts, an old half-ruined temple, about six miles
from the cantonment. Here he dismounted and tied his Arab to a tree,
saying to himself as he ascended the steps: “There is no fear of any
interruption here, and I will make up my mind to some definite plan
before I return to Camelabad this evening.” As he paced up and down
the empty echoing ruin, he tried to judge between Alice and himself
as calmly and dispassionately as if he were a third person. His own
motives and actions were easily explained, but Alice’s were not so
readily understood. What could be the meaning of her extraordinary
conduct? His name had been cleared, and she, who should never have
doubted him, and who, at any rate now, ought to be the first to come
forward, had been dumb. There was but one reasonable solution. “She did
not know her own mind when she was married; she never cared two straws
about me, and she seizes the first pretext to free herself from a
distasteful union. So be it; she _shall_ be free,” he muttered. “I will
hold myself utterly aloof from her for the future. I shall go home and
live at Looton, and surround myself with friends--shoot, hunt, and lead
as gay a bachelor life as if I had no wife in existence. Why should I
expatriate myself for her sake?” he asked himself aloud.
But on second thoughts this scheme did not prove so alluring. At
Looton, every room, every walk, every face would only remind him of
Alice.
“I could not stand it just yet,” he muttered; “it is all too fresh,
too recent; one does not get over a thing like that so soon. In a year
or two, when I am thoroughly hardened and indifferent, I will go;
meanwhile I shall remain in the service.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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