Psmith in the CityWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Psmith in the City
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
The other man was talking into a telephone. Mike waited till he had
finished. Then he coughed. The man turned round. Mike had thought, as
he looked at his back and heard his voice, that something about his
appearance or his way of speaking was familiar. He was right. The man
in the chair was Mr Bickersdyke, the cross-screen pedestrian.
These reunions are very awkward. Mike was frankly unequal to the
situation. Psmith, in his place, would have opened the conversation,
and relaxed the tension with some remark on the weather or the state of
the crops. Mike merely stood wrapped in silence, as in a garment.
That the recognition was mutual was evident from Mr Bickersdyke's look.
But apart from this, he gave no sign of having already had the pleasure
of making Mike's acquaintance. He merely stared at him as if he were a
blot on the arrangement of the furniture, and said, 'Well?'
The most difficult parts to play in real life as well as on the stage
are those in which no 'business' is arranged for the performer. It was
all very well for Mr Bickersdyke. He had been 'discovered sitting'. But
Mike had had to enter, and he wished now that there was something he
could do instead of merely standing and speaking.
'I've come,' was the best speech he could think of. It was not a good
speech. It was too sinister. He felt that even as he said it. It was
the sort of thing Mephistopheles would have said to Faust by way of
opening conversation. And he was not sure, either, whether he ought not
to have added, 'Sir.'
Apparently such subtleties of address were not necessary, for Mr
Bickersdyke did not start up and shout, 'This language to me!' or
anything of that kind. He merely said, 'Oh! And who are you?'
'Jackson,' said Mike. It was irritating, this assumption on Mr
Bickersdyke's part that they had never met before.
'Jackson? Ah, yes. You have joined the staff?'
Mike rather liked this way of putting it. It lent a certain dignity to
the proceedings, making him feel like some important person for whose
services there had been strenuous competition. He seemed to see the
bank's directors being reassured by the chairman. ('I am happy to say,
gentlemen, that our profits for the past year are 3,000,006-2-2 1/2
pounds--(cheers)--and'--impressively--'that we have finally succeeded
in inducing Mr Mike Jackson--(sensation)--to--er--in fact, to join the
staff!' (Frantic cheers, in which the chairman joined.)
'Yes,' he said.
Mr Bickersdyke pressed a bell on the table beside him, and picking up a
pen, began to write. Of Mike he took no further notice, leaving that
toy of Fate standing stranded in the middle of the room.
After a few moments one of the men in fancy dress, whom Mike had seen
hanging about the gangway, and whom he afterwards found to be
messengers, appeared. Mr Bickersdyke looked up.
'Ask Mr Bannister to step this way,' he said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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