Psmith in the CityWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Psmith in the City
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
The postage department was one of the last to be freed from duty. This
was due to the inconsiderateness of the other departments, which
omitted to disgorge their letters till the last moment. Mike as he grew
familiar with the work, and began to understand it, used to prowl round
the other departments during the afternoon and wrest letters from them,
usually receiving with them much abuse for being a nuisance and not
leaving honest workers alone. Today, however, he had to sit on till
nearly six, waiting for the final batch of correspondence.
Psmith, who had waited patiently with him, though his own work was
finished, accompanied him down to the post office and back again to the
bank to return the letter basket; and they left the office together.
'By the way,' said Psmith, 'what with the strenuous labours of the bank
and the disturbing interviews with the powers that be, I have omitted
to ask you where you are digging. Wherever it is, of course you must
clear out. It is imperative, in this crisis, that we should be
together. I have acquired a quite snug little flat in Clement's Inn.
There is a spare bedroom. It shall be yours.'
'My dear chap,' said Mike, 'it's all rot. I can't sponge on you.'
'You pain me, Comrade Jackson. I was not suggesting such a thing. We
are business men, hard-headed young bankers. I make you a business
proposition. I offer you the post of confidential secretary and adviser
to me in exchange for a comfortable home. The duties will be light. You
will be required to refuse invitations to dinner from crowned heads,
and to listen attentively to my views on Life. Apart from this, there
is little to do. So that's settled.'
'It isn't,' said Mike. 'I--'
'You will enter upon your duties tonight. Where are you suspended at
present?'
'Dulwich. But, look here--'
'A little more, and you'll get the sack. I tell you the thing is
settled. Now, let us hail yon taximeter cab, and desire the stern-faced
aristocrat on the box to drive us to Dulwich. We will then collect a
few of your things in a bag, have the rest off by train, come back in
the taxi, and go and bite a chop at the Carlton. This is a momentous
day in our careers, Comrade Jackson. We must buoy ourselves up.'
Mike made no further objections. The thought of that bed-sitting room
in Acacia Road and the pantomime dame rose up and killed them. After
all, Psmith was not like any ordinary person. There would be no
question of charity. Psmith had invited him to the flat in exactly the
same spirit as he had invited him to his house for the cricket week.
'You know,' said Psmith, after a silence, as they flitted through the
streets in the taximeter, 'one lives and learns. Were you so wrapped up
in your work this afternoon that you did not hear my very entertaining
little chat with Comrade Bickersdyke, or did it happen to come under
your notice? It did? Then I wonder if you were struck by the singular
conduct of Comrade Rossiter?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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