Psmith in the CityWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Psmith in the City
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
His indignation began to take a more personal shape when the speaker,
branching off from the main subject of Socialism, began to touch on
temperance. There was no particular reason why Mr Waller should have
introduced the subject of temperance, except that he happened to be an
enthusiast. He linked it on to his remarks on Socialism by attributing
the lethargy of the masses to their fondness for alcohol; and the
crowd, which had been inclined rather to pat itself on the back during
the assaults on Rank and Property, finding itself assailed in its turn,
resented it. They were there to listen to speakers telling them that
they were the finest fellows on earth, not pointing out their little
failings to them. The feeling of the meeting became hostile. The jeers
grew more frequent and less good-tempered.
'Comrade Waller means well,' said a voice in Mike's ear, 'but if he
shoots it at them like this much more there'll be a bit of an
imbroglio.'
'Look here, Smith,' said Mike quickly, 'can't we stop him? These chaps
are getting fed up, and they look bargees enough to do anything.
They'll be going for him or something soon.'
'How can we switch off the flow? I don't see. The man is wound up. He
means to get it off his chest if it snows. I feel we are by way of
being in the soup once more, Comrade Jackson. We can only sit tight and
look on.'
The crowd was becoming more threatening every minute. A group of young
men of the loafer class who stood near Mike were especially fertile in
comment. Psmith's eyes were on the speaker; but Mike was watching this
group closely. Suddenly he saw one of them, a thick-set youth wearing a
cloth cap and no collar, stoop.
When he rose again there was a stone in his hand.
The sight acted on Mike like a spur. Vague rage against nobody in
particular had been simmering in him for half an hour. Now it
concentrated itself on the cloth-capped one.
Mr Waller paused momentarily before renewing his harangue. The man in
the cloth cap raised his hand. There was a swirl in the crowd, and the
first thing that Psmith saw as he turned was Mike seizing the would-be
marksman round the neck and hurling him to the ground, after the manner
of a forward at football tackling an opponent during a line-out from
touch.
There is one thing which will always distract the attention of a crowd
from any speaker, and that is a dispute between two of its units. Mr
Waller's views on temperance were forgotten in an instant. The audience
surged round Mike and his opponent.
The latter had scrambled to his feet now, and was looking round for his
assailant.
'That's 'im, Bill!' cried eager voices, indicating Mike.
''E's the bloke wot 'it yer, Bill,' said others, more precise in
detail.
Bill advanced on Mike in a sidelong, crab-like manner.
''Oo're you, I should like to know?' said Bill.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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