Psmith, JournalistWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Psmith, Journalist
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
Mike had come to America with a team of the M.C.C. which was
touring the cricket-playing section of the United States. Psmith
had accompanied him in a private capacity. It was the end of their
first year at Cambridge, and Mike, with a century against Oxford to
his credit, had been one of the first to be invited to join the
tour. Psmith, who had played cricket in a rather desultory way at
the University, had not risen to these heights. He had merely taken
the opportunity of Mike's visit to the other side to accompany him.
Cambridge had proved pleasant to Psmith, but a trifle quiet. He
had welcomed the chance of getting a change of scene.
So far the visit had failed to satisfy him. Mike, whose tastes in
pleasure were simple, was delighted with everything. The cricket so
far had been rather of the picnic order, but it was very pleasant;
and there was no limit to the hospitality with which the visitors
were treated. It was this more than anything which had caused
Psmith's grave disapproval of things American. He was not a member
of the team, so that the advantages of the hospitality did not
reach him. He had all the disadvantages. He saw far too little of
Mike. When he wished to consult his confidential secretary and
adviser on some aspect of Life, that invaluable official was
generally absent at dinner with the rest of the team. To-night was
one of the rare occasions when Mike could get away. Psmith was
becoming bored. New York is a better city than London to be alone
in, but it is never pleasant to be alone in any big city.
As they sat discussing New York's shortcomings over their coffee, a
young man passed them, carrying a basket, and seated himself at the
next table. He was a tall, loose-jointed young man, with unkempt
hair.
A waiter made an ingratiating gesture towards the basket, but the
young man stopped him. "Not on your life, sonny," he said. "This
stays right here." He placed it carefully on the floor beside his
chair, and proceeded to order dinner.
Psmith watched him thoughtfully.
"I have a suspicion, Comrade Jackson," he said, "that this will
prove to be a somewhat stout fellow. If possible, we will engage
him in conversation. I wonder what he's got in the basket. I must
get my Sherlock Holmes system to work. What is the most likely
thing for a man to have in a basket? You would reply, in your
unthinking way, 'sandwiches.' Error. A man with a basketful of
sandwiches does not need to dine at restaurants. We must try
again."
The young man at the next table had ordered a jug of milk to be
accompanied by a saucer. These having arrived, he proceeded to
lift the basket on to his lap, pour the milk into the saucer, and
remove the lid from the basket. Instantly, with a yell which made
the young man's table the centre of interest to all the diners, a
large grey cat shot up like a rocket, and darted across the room.
Psmith watched with silent interest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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