Psmith, JournalistWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Psmith, Journalist
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
"I understand. I am a man of few words myself. All great men are
like that. Von Moltke, Comrade Otto, and myself. But what are
words? Action is the thing. That is the cry. Action. If that is
Comrade Otto's forte, so much the better, for I fancy that action
rather than words is what we may be needing in the space of about a
quarter of a minute. At least, if the footsteps I hear without are,
as I suspect, those of our friends of the Three Points."
Jarvis and Long Otto turned towards the door. Psmith was right.
Some one was moving stealthily in the outer office. Judging from
the sound, more than one person.
"It is just as well," said Psmith softly, "that Comrade Maloney is
not at his customary post. Now, in about a quarter of a minute, as
I said--Aha!"
The handle of the door began to revolve slowly and quietly. The
next moment three figures tumbled into the room. It was evident
that they had not expected to find the door unlocked, and the
absence of resistance when they applied their weight had had
surprising effects. Two of the three did not pause in their career
till they cannoned against the table. The third, who was holding
the handle, was more fortunate.
Psmith rose with a kindly smile to welcome his guests.
"Why, surely!" he said in a pleased voice. "I thought I knew the
face. Comrade Repetto, this is a treat. Have you come bringing me a
new hat?"
The white-haired leader's face, as he spoke, was within a few
inches of his own. Psmith's observant eye noted that the bruise
still lingered on the chin where Kid Brady's upper-cut had landed
at their previous meeting.
"I cannot offer you all seats," he went on, "unless you care to
dispose yourselves upon the tables. I wonder if you know my
friend, Mr. Bat Jarvis? And my friend, Mr. L. Otto? Let us all get
acquainted on this merry occasion."
The three invaders had been aware of the presence of the great Bat
and his colleague for some moments, and the meeting seemed to be
causing them embarrassment. This may have been due to the fact that
both Mr. Jarvis and Mr. Otto had produced and were toying
meditatively with distinctly ugly-looking pistols.
Mr. Jarvis spoke.
"Well," he said, "what's doin'?"
Mr. Repetto, to whom the remark was directly addressed, appeared to
have some difficulty in finding a reply. He shuffled his feet, and
looked at the floor. His two companions seemed equally at a loss.
"Goin' to start any rough stuff?" inquired Mr. Jarvis casually.
"The cigars are on the table," said Psmith hospitably. "Draw up
your chairs, and let's all be jolly. I will open the proceedings
with a song."
In a rich baritone, with his eyeglass fixed the while on Mr.
Repetto, he proceeded to relieve himself of the first verse of
"I only know I love thee."
"Chorus, please," he added, as he finished. "Come along, Comrade
Repetto. Why this shrinking coyness? Fling out your chest, and cut
loose."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account