Psmith, JournalistWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Psmith, Journalist
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
But Mr. Repetto's eye was fastened on Mr. Jarvis's revolver. The
sight apparently had the effect of quenching his desire for song.
"'Lov' muh, ahnd ther world is--ah--mine!'" concluded Psmith.
He looked round the assembled company.
"Comrade Otto," he observed, "will now recite that pathetic little
poem 'Baby's Sock is now a Blue-bag.' Pray, gentlemen, silence for
Comrade Otto."
He looked inquiringly at the long youth, who remained mute. Psmith
clicked his tongue regretfully.
"Comrade Jarvis," he said, "I fear that as a smoking-concert this
is not going to be a success. I understand, however. Comrade
Repetto and his colleagues have come here on business, and nothing
will make them forget it. Typical New York men of affairs, they
close their minds to all influences that might lure them from their
business. Let us get on, then. What did you wish to see me about,
Comrade Repetto?"
Mr. Repetto's reply was unintelligible.
Mr. Jarvis made a suggestion.
"Youse had better beat it," he said.
Long Otto grunted sympathy with this advice.
"And youse had better go back to Spider Reilly," continued Mr.
Jarvis, "and tell him that there's nothin' doin' in the way of
rough house wit dis gent here." He indicated Psmith, who bowed.
"And you can tell de Spider," went on Bat with growing ferocity,
"dat next time he gits gay and starts in to shoot guys in me
dance-joint I'll bite de head off'n him. See? Does dat go? If he
t'inks his little two-by-four gang can put it across de Groome
Street, he can try. Dat's right. An' don't fergit dis gent here and
me is pals, and any one dat starts anyt'ing wit dis gent is going
to have to git busy wit me. Does dat go?"
Psmith coughed, and shot his cuffs.
"I do not know," he said, in the manner of a chairman addressing a
meeting, "that I have anything to add to the very well-expressed
remarks of my friend, Comrade Jarvis. He has, in my opinion,
covered the ground very thoroughly and satisfactorily. It now only
remains for me to pass a vote of thanks to Comrade Jarvis and to
declare this meeting at an end."
"Beat it," said Mr. Jarvis, pointing to the door.
The delegation then withdrew.
"I am very much obliged," said Psmith, "for your courtly
assistance, Comrade Jarvis. But for you I do not care to think with
what a splash I might not have been immersed in the gumbo. Thank
you, Comrade Jarvis. And you, Comrade Otto."
"Aw chee!" said Mr. Jarvis, handsomely dismissing the matter. Mr.
Otto kicked the leg of the table, and grunted.
* * *
For half an hour after the departure of the Three Pointers Psmith
chatted amiably to his two assistants on matters of general
interest. The exchange of ideas was somewhat one-sided, though Mr.
Jarvis had one or two striking items of information to impart,
notably some hints on the treatment of fits in kittens.
At the end of this period the conversation was once more
interrupted by the sound of movements in the outer office.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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