Language has synonyms enough for both kinds of self-appreciation. Thus
pride, conceit, vanity, self-esteem, arrogance, vainglory, on the one
hand; and on the other modesty, humility, confusion, diffidence, shame,
mortification, contrition, the sense of obloquy, and personal despair.
These two opposite classes of affection seem to be direct and elementary
endowments of our nature. Associationists would have it that they are,
on the other hand, secondary phenomena arising from a rapid computation
of the sensible pleasures or pains to which our prosperous or debased
personal predicament is likely to lead, the sum of the represented
pleasures forming the self-satisfaction, and the sum of the represented
pains forming the opposite feeling of shame. No doubt, when we are
self-satisfied, we do fondly rehearse all possible rewards for our
desert, and when in a fit of self-despair we forebode evil. But the mere
expectation of reward _is_ not the self-satisfaction, and the mere
apprehension of the evil _is_ not the self-despair; for there is a
certain average tone of self-feeling which each one of us carries about
with him, and which is independent of the objective reasons we may have
for satisfaction or discontent. That is, a very meanly-conditioned man
may abound in unfaltering conceit, and one whose success in life is
secure, and who is esteemed by all, may remain diffident of his powers
to the end.
One may say, however, that the normal _provocative_ of self-feeling is
one's actual success or failure, and the good or bad actual position one
holds in the world. "He put in his thumb and pulled out a plum, and
said, 'What a good boy am I!'" A man with a broadly extended empirical
Ego, with powers that have uniformly brought him success, with place and
wealth and friends and fame, is not likely to be visited by the morbid
diffidences and doubts about himself which he had when he was a boy. "Is
not this great Babylon, which I have planted?" Whereas he who has made
one blunder after another, and still lies in middle life among the
failures at the foot of the hill, is liable to grow all sicklied o'er
with self-distrust, and to shrink from trials with which his powers can
really cope.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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