Ptomaine Street: The Tale of Warble Petticoat — John Shaqi
Ptomaine Street: The Tale of Warble PetticoatWells, Carolyn
General
Ptomaine Street: The Tale of Warble Petticoat
Wells, Carolyn
Fiction; Lewis, Sinclair, 1885-1951 -- Parodies, imitations, etc.
Warble found herself in a white and gold salon, so vast, that she felt
like a goldfish out of water. The place looked as if Joseph Urban had
designed it after he had died and gone to Golconda. Whatever wasn't
white was gold, and the other way round. The gold piano had only white
keys, and the draperies were cloth of gold with bullion fringe. All
real, too--no rolled or plated stuff.
A huge coat-of-arms in a gold frame announced that Mr. Leathersham was
descended from the Gold Digger Indians, a noble ancestry indeed; and it
was no secret that his wife had played in “The Gold-diggers,” during its
second decade run.
Marigold Leathersham was a charming hostess, and greeted Warble with a
shriek of welcome. “You duck,” she cried; “how heavenly of you to dress
so well.”
Warble was simply attired in a white pussy-willow silk underslip. In her
haste and excitement she had forgotten to add the gown meant to go over
it, and as she wore no jewels save the chased gold lingerie clasps
at her shoulders, the result was a simplicity as charming as it was
unintentional.
And so she made a hit.
That was the way things came to Warble; a hit--a social success--and all
because she forgot to put on her frock.
She mingled with the glittering throng of gilded youth, of golden lads
and girls, of gilt-edged married people, and found herself in the arms
of Goldwin Leathersham, her host.
“Here comes the bride,” he shouted, as he piloted her about and
introduced everybody to her.
“This demure little beauty,” he said, “is Daisy Snow. Note her sweet,
pure face and wide-eyed, innocent gaze.”
“It is all so new--so wonderful--” Miss Snow breathed, “I'm a débutante,
you know, and I have scarcely butterflied out of my chrysalis yet. How
splendid the Leathershams are. He has a heart of gold. Oh, he is such
a good man, he says his life motto is the Golden Rule.”
“And Mrs. Leathersham?” asked Warble.
“Marigold? Oh, yes, she's as good as gold, too. We're firm friends.”
Warble was agog to mingle, so she moved on.
Le Grand Paynter, a celebrated Cubic artist, fascinated her with his
flowing locks, flowing tie and marvelous flow of conversation. He asked
to paint her as a Semi-nude Descending a Ladder, but she only said she
must refer him to her Petticoat.
Freeman Scattergood, the well-known philanthropist was chatting with
Mrs. Charity Givens, who was the champion Subscription List Header. Many
had tried to oust her from this enviable position but without success.
Near them stood Avery Goodman, the rector, and he was deeply engaged in
a flirtation with Miss May Young, one of his choir girls.
Manley Knight, a returned soldier, was resplendent with a Croix de
Guerre, a Hot Cross Bun and many other Noughts and Crosses.
Warble fingered them in her light way.
“Isn't he splendid!” babbled Daisy Snow the _ingénue_; “Oh, how
wonderful to offer one's life for glory! You can fairly see the heroism
bubble out of his eyes!”
“How you admire him!” said Warble.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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