“Oh, please, Mrs. Petticoat--oh, please! Such an opportunity! May never occur again! Oh, can't I--may I not--oh, dear lady, do say yes--” “Lordy, what do you want to do? Speak out, man!” “Why, you see, I am a solist--like a palmist you know--but as to feet. I studied solistry in Asia Minor and I know it from the ground up. Oh, please, Mrs. Petticoat, let me read your sole!” “Do,” cried Warble, “love to have you.” She plumped herself into a pillowed divan, and held her little pink feet straight out in front of her. Goodsport, sitting on a cushion at her feet, took one and scrutinized the sole. “The Solar system,” he began, “is interesting in the extreme. It was invented by Solon, though Platoe also theorized on the immortality of the sole. His ideas, however have been discarded by modern footmen. “Locke, is his treatise On the Human Understanding, discusses the subject fully and with many footnotes, and old Samuel Foote himself cast footlights on the subject.” “Now, looky here,” Warble objected, “I won't have a lecture in my house! I object to anything of an intellectural nature.” “This has nothing to do with the intellect,” Adam assured her. “Quite the reverse, now, you listen. It's really interesting. The palmist may claim to read the true character from the lines of the hand, but it is only by solistry that the real sole is laid bare and the character of a subject in any walk of life is exposed. The lines of the sole are greatly indicative of character, for all traits must draw the line somewhere. Now, Mrs. Petticoat, this line extending from the Mount of Trilby to the outer side of the sole is the life line. If that appears to be broken it indicates future death. If more pronounced on one sole than the other, it implies that the subject has one foot in the grave. You haven't, don't be alarmed. Here is the headline, straight and continuous, showing a long and level head.” “Ouch,” remarked Warble, “you tickle. Try somebody else,” and she drew her feet under her. “Me,” exclaimed Daisy Snow, coming over and holding out her dainty right foot. “H'm,” said Goodsport. “This line running from the Mount of Cinderella to the heel is the clothes line and denotes love of dress. This line crossing it is the fish line and shows you are incapable of telling the truth.” Daisy flounced away, mad, and Mrs. Charity Givens, with some trepidation, offered her ample and generous foot for dissection. “A thorough, broad understanding and a friendly footing toward all,” declared the solist, “and no danger of misunderstanding. However, your broken headline indicates pugnacity.” “Nothing of the sort!” she snapped at him, and waddled away. Goldwin Leathersham, greatly interested, insisted on having his pedal interpreted.