Ptomaine Street: The Tale of Warble Petticoat — John Shaqi
Ptomaine Street: The Tale of Warble PetticoatWells, Carolyn
General
Ptomaine Street: The Tale of Warble Petticoat
Wells, Carolyn
Fiction; Lewis, Sinclair, 1885-1951 -- Parodies, imitations, etc.
and, to a man, the male population of Butterfly Center fell for her.
Not so the remainder of the citizens.
One of the men was yelling at Petticoat:
“Hop into my car, Bill, Don't see yours--I'll tote the bride-person
you've got there--with joy and gladness.” Warble looked at the yeller.
“Can't quite place me, chick, can you?” he grinned at her. “Well I'm
only old Goldwin Leathersham--no use for me in the world but to spend
money. Want me to spend some on you? Here's my old thing--step up here,
Marigold, and be introduced. She's really nicer than she looks, Mrs.
Petticoat.”
“Indeed I'm not,” Marigold Leathersham cried gaily, “I couldn't
be--nobody could be!”
She came running--a beautiful, slim young woman, with a wealth of
expensive looking gold hair, white and gold teeth that broke into a
lavish smile. Her voice was rich and though she looked above, away from
and through Warble, yet she saw her.
“So glad to welcome you, you pretty baby,” she chirruped. “You're going
to love us all, aren't you?”
“Yop,” said Warble, and smiled her engaging smile.
“You bet she'll love us,” declared Leathersham, “she'll make the
world go round! Hello, Little One,” he turned to pat the cheek of a
white-haired, red-faced old lady, who hawk-eyed and hawk-nosed, stood
by, listening in. “This, Mrs. Petticoat, is our Lady Bountiful, Mrs.
Charity Givens--noted for her generosity. She ostentatiously heads
all Donation Lists, and she's going to start a rest cure where your
husband's unsuccessful cases may die in peace. And here's one of the
cases. Hello, Iva Payne!”
“Hello,” languidly responded a girl like a long pale lily--a Burne-Jones
type, who sometimes carried around a small stained-glass window to rest
her head against.
“Are you really Bill's wife?” she asked, a little disinterestedly, of
Warble.
“Yop,” said Warble, and made a face at her.
“How quaint,” said Iva.
“Whoopee, Baby! Here we are,” and Petticoat rescued his bride from the
middle of a crowd and yanked her toward his car.
The car was a museum piece, and as Warble caromed into its cushions she
felt that her lines had fallen in pleasant places.
That was the way Fate came to Warble. In big fat chunks, in slathers.
Unexpected, sudden, inescapable--that's Fate all over.
“I shall like Mr. Leathersham--I shall call him Goldie. They're all
nice and friendly--the men. But this town! Oh, my Heavens! This Jewel
Casket--this Treasure Table! I can't live through it! This Floating
Island of a Tipsy Charlotte!” Her husband nudged her. “You look like you
had a pain,” he said; “Scared? I don't expect you to fit in at first.
You have to get eased into things. It's different from Pittsburgh. But
you'll come to like it--love is so free here, and the smartest people on
earth.”
She winked at him. “I love you for your misunderstanding. I'm just
dog-tired. And too many chocolates. Give me a rest, dear. I'm all in
from wear sheeriness.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account