My friend SKURRIE to whom his own Plan of Return, which I have accepted, is as the law of the Medes and Persians, says he will give me three days more for GENEVA and BIRLEY, and that then we must emphatically start homewards as he insists on JANE and myself seeing Heidelberg _en route_ and every half hour of our time from Wednesday to Monday is so carefully adjusted that to miss one train will upset all the plans he has taken such pains and trouble to arrange for us. I am closeted with him for two hours, when he explains it all to me, gives me, so to speak, the key of the puzzle, insists on my verifying the items by _Cook's Tourist Train-Book_ (an invaluable work), and then reducing it to writing. After this I am headachey, and exhausted. [P.S.--Revising this, long after the event, I say, "Beware of SKURRIE and his fixed plan of sight-seeing against time."] * * * * * GRASP YOUR THISTLE. [Illustration: Light Puffs raised a Little Swell.] MR. PUNCH, SIR,--I would like to ask you, slick out, if you reckon it was all fair and square with that there _Thistle's_ keel. For to hear that interested parties in that race had gone down in a diving-bell the evening before and screwed themselves on to that yacht would not have surprised me. And, let me tell you had they done so, they would have considerably impeded her progress the following day. That Captain BARR was cute enough when he said, "he couldn't make out what had come to his ship." Take my word what had come to it was just that diving-bell, and I shouldn't mind calculating that the owner of the _Volunteer_ was boss of the interested parties fixed up inside of it. You ask "can such things take place in the States?" Wal--I guess they just can. Muchly so, when there's money on it. As to the diving-bell advantage, I speak feelingly, as I have assisted over a twenty-mile course in one myself. We were on that occasion found out at the finish. But it was all straight. The umpire, whom we had previously squared, and who was above reproach, gave it in our favour. It's knowing these things, coupled with the fact that I backed the _Thistle_ for two hundred dollars, that makes me just throw out these friendly hints to you, Sir, from, THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ATLANTIC. [Illustration: The Port Bow.] * * * * * A Point of Law. (_By a Pun-propounding Gladstonophobist._) He's "popping up again," despite our praying; Fools and fanatics flocking to his side. Him to suppress I'm sure would not be slaying, But "Justifiable G. O. M.-icide!" * * * * * BUTTER FOR AILESBURY.--The Jockey Club's decision! * * * * * REPORTERS AT THE REPORTERS' CONGRESS.--Scarcely Short-handed! * * * * * [Illustration: "HOME! SWEET HOME!" (ALAS!)] * * * * * THE LAST (SIGNAL) MAN. VERITY IN A VISION.