Sir,--Endowed by nature with an imperfect moral sense and a complete inability to discriminate between _meum_ and _tuum_, I was irresistibly impelled at an early age to adopt the precarious profession of housebreaker. I have just served a sentence of three years, and was on the point of resuming my career when I read Mr. Lloyd George's epoch-making speech at Denmark Hill, in which he clearly defines the duty of the State to redress the inequalities of moral as well as material endowment by which so large a proportion of the community is penalised. I am the master of a fine literary style and admirably suited to discharge any secretarial duties, but it is only right that I should clearly explain at the outset that it is no use offering me any post unless it is so well salaried that I should never feel it was worth while to explore or appropriate the contents of my employer's safe. Respectfully yours, Raphael Bunny. The Luck of the Law. _Railway Carriage Bungalow, Shoreham, Sussex._ Sir,--It is precisely thirty years since I was called to the Bar, and several of my contemporaries have already been elevated to the Bench, while Sir John Simon, who is considerably my junior, is in the receipt of a salary probably double that drawn by an ordinary Judge. My earnings for the last ten years have exempted me from income-tax, but this is but a poor consolation when I consider that were it not for the caprice of fortune I should probably be returning L400 or L500 a year to the Exchequer in super-tax. But not only have I been badly treated in regard to mental equipment; I have been further handicapped by hereditary conscientious objection to pay any bills. An annuity of L500 a year, or only one-tenth of the salary of a Judge, is the minimum that my self-respect will allow me to accept in payment of the State's long-standing debt to Yours faithfully, William Weir. The Cruelty of Competition. Sir,--I confidently appeal for your support in the application for a grant which I am forwarding to the Prime Minister. My son, aged 14, has failed to win an entrance scholarship at Winchester and Charterhouse, not from any fault of his own, but simply owing to the unfair competition of other candidates more liberally endowed with brains. At a modest estimate I calculate that the extra drain on my resources for the next eight years in consequence of this undeserved hardship will amount to at least L600, which I can ill afford owing to unfortunate speculations in Patagonian ruby mines--another example of that bad luck which, in the noble words of the Chancellor Of the Exchequer, it is the privilege of the prosperous to remedy. I am, Sir, yours expectantly, (Rev.) J. Stonor Brooke. _Vis inertiae._ _Lotus Lodge, Limpsfield._