From a statement just issued we learn that Mr. A. Lock, of Edenbridge, has slaughtered more than 18,000 queen wasps, and that for eighteen successive years he has secured premier honours for wasp-killing at a local horticultural show. Orders, we learn from an exceptionally well-informed insect, have now been issued to the W. (Wasps) S.P.U. to sting Mr. Lock on sight. *** "A census," we read, "is to be taken of all the birds of the United States by the American Board of Agriculture," but we are not told what particulars will be asked for. Probably merely name and address, not religion. *** "Pygmalion for Threepence" attracted a large number of the working classes to His Majesty's Theatre in spite of the price being higher than "A Twopenny Damn." *** Among the workers' organisations which booked seats was the London Glass Blowers' Society. Hitherto, we understand, the favourite expression of the members of this Society has been the innocuous "You be blowed," and it is sincerely to be hoped that Mr. Shaw's play will not have given these gentle souls a taste for anything stronger. *** After holding up an elderly man in broad daylight in an arcade off Ludgate Hill last week two highwaymen ran away and were captured in the Old Bailey. It is thought that the homing instinct took them there. * * * * * A TOAST. Hail to the Bard, the simple Bard, Who wrote the little song, And to his Muse, who laboured hard To help the work along. Health to the Candid Friend also Who had his word to say, And to the kindly G.P.O. That sped it on its way. A blessing on the Editor Who let it see the light; Likewise the patient Printer, for He got the colons right; Here's to the "sub," whose special line Was spacing it to fit, And to the cheery Philistine Who lit his pipe with it. * * * * * An Empire Day Essay. "Dear Teacher,--On Empire day we had a holiday. I had a flag on Frideday. On Fridday I was very happy, was you Teacher when we had a holiday." * * * * * "The King has conferred the Grand Cross of the Victorian Order on M. Doumergue, the Premier of France." And _The Sydney Sun_ heads this "Horrors in France." The Victorian Order, however, is not really so dangerous as that. * * * * * THE SIGHTS OF LONDON. [Illustration: (_Just after feeding-time--Inner Temple._) "Come on, 'Tilda, bring 'im along and let 'im look at the lawyers."] * * * * * ULSTER FOR SCOTLAND. _"Nil mortalibus ardui est."--Q. Horatius Flaccus._ When Horace made those sound remarks. Showing--in spite of Jove's decree-- How mortals rode in impious arks Transilient o'er the sacred sea, How there was not beneath the sun A task so tough but what he'd back us Somehow to go and see it done (Such was the _flair_ of Flaccus);