"Sprats should be cooked very fresh. Their condition can be ascertained by their eyes, which should be bright." _Cookery Book._ How cold the culinary mind That household care absorbs! Can the observer really find Within yon sparkling orbs No message, nothing further than A fitness for the frying-pan? For oh, in that pathetic gaze What crowded memories dwell! What wistful dreams of briny days Beneath the surging swell, Ere fate had seized this little fish And plumped him on an earthen dish! Methinks I see him even now, As late he sailed along With smiling and unruffled brow Amid the finny throng, No gladder, gayer sprat than he In all the caverns of the sea. With what a rapture would he tweak The casual kipper's tail, Or nimbly sport at hide-and-seek Around the whiskered whale! (Do whales that haunt the ocean wave Wear whiskers? Some do, others shave.) And, when by hunger overcome He felt a trifle limp, What joy within his vacuum To stow the passing shrimp, And afterwards to sink and snooze, Soft-cradled on the nether ooze! Ah, yes, as I behold those eyes So bright, so crystal-clear, I feel within my own uprise A sympathetic tear; But supper's call one must obey, And so I dash the drops away. * * * * * ANOTHER INFORMATION BUREAU. A Pretty Thought--Tipsters--Our Feathered Friends--A Guide to Manners--Aiding his Suit. A Pretty Thought. _After reading that a number of letters have been written to the King on his birthday by school children, my wife and I have decided that our little girl, Clara, who is just six, shall write one for next year--or possibly for Christmas--and we should be glad of your counsel in the matter: as to how his Majesty is addressed, how to make sure that the letter reaches him and receives proper attention, and so forth. Is there any intermediary with whom one should get upon good terms?--J. U. T. (Haggerston)._ Your question is a very natural one, and we are glad to be able to reply to it. The habit of writing to His Majesty is growing. He should be addressed on the envelope as-- His Majesty, Buckingham Palace, near Victoria Station, S.W., and the envelope should be marked "Private" or "Personal," to ensure his getting it. By a piece of great good fortune for you one of the papers has very considerately published specimens of letters just sent to His Majesty, and you can make those your model. The most suitable is perhaps this-- "Dear King George,--I wish you many happy returns of the day. If I had one pound I would buy a suit of clothes with ten shillings and a watch for the other ten shillings. I hope you will have a long and fruitful reign." Is not that charming in its _naivete_ and whole-hearted delight in the opportunity of congratulations and good wishes? We wish your little Clara all success. Tipsters.