She crossed over and sat on the arm of my chair. "Are you feeling ill, dear?" she inquired ever so sweetly. For a moment I nearly gave way; then, with a tremendous effort, I braced back my shoulders.... Diana fell heavily to the floor. "Darling," I said as I picked her up, "I'm so sorry; I didn't see you were sitting so near the edge. I'm----" "All right," she replied. "And now what is it? You haven't changed towards me?" "Diana--I--oh, it's difficult." "Yes, dear. Go on." I gazed into the carpet. "I must begin at the beginning. I--it's difficult." "Yes, dear; we've agreed about that." "In the first place," I began, "I am a man of the utmost integrity." "That doesn't matter, and, anyway, you're quite a dear." I bowed gravely. "I try to look at things from a high standpoint," I continued. "Now, Diana, I consider you are perfect. I love you intensely because you are so perfect." "Don't be silly, dear." "I mean it. On the other hand, I know myself very well indeed." "You think so." "I do. And I have come to the conclusion, after many racking hours, that I am not worthy of you. The proper course, the only course, is for me to release you." And I sighed heavily. "Well," said Diana, "of course it's a very pretty idea, and I'm glad you're so fond of me, but the whole thing's absurd. I've accepted you and there's an end of it." "Diana, you're making it very hard." "I'm making it impossible." "No," I declared, "because--I release you now." Diana fingered her handkerchief. "D--Dick, I refuse to be released. It's too silly for w--words. Come over here." With a great effort I didn't get up; instead I gazed at the ceiling. "Diana," I said, "I'm disappointed in you. I'm trying to do the right thing, the noble thing, and you mustn't stand in my way. You've no right to stand in my----" "Anyhow, I'm going to." "You know," I said, "this puts me in a very awkward position--very awkward. Diana, you must see my point of view." "I can't." "You mean you won't. I had expected more of you." Diana smiled. "I thought you considered me perfect." "I did." "Well, you see, dear, I'm not." I sighed. "I'm afraid not," I said. "I fear not." Suddenly I sat up. "Good Lord!" I exclaimed. "Hooray!" "What is it?" "Don't you see? This puts matters on an entirely different footing. Darling, you don't want me to do the right thing, therefore you're not perfect." "No; that's settled." "Well then, you don't deserve a perfect husband." "I don't want one." "That's not the point. You don't deserve one." "No," said Diana. "Then that's all right," I said; "because you won't get one." And I cut myself a large slice of cake. * * * * * [_Chairman (at Friendly Lead, proposing toast of the performers)._ "All the hartists have give their services free, and I think you'll agree with me, gentlemen, that the labourers are worthy of their hire."] * * * * * THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL.