"And, after all, why do you want to go to Violet's?" "She asked me, you know. That's one reason. And I shall be able to look round for lodgings in August." "Are we going to Sandy Bay in August?" "Yes; didn't you know? And I shall have four days of perfect peace." "You won't. You and Violet will disagree about hats, or the colour of a dress, or the education of children, or the true way of putting men in their proper place. It isn't everybody who agrees with you as I do." "Yes, I know I shall miss you every minute of the time--that's what you wanted me to say, wasn't it?" "Yes, that was it. You really do know how to lead me by a silken thread." "And I shall probably get my breakfast in bed. You'll think of me, won't you, when you're breakfasting with the children? And don't let John have jam every day." "I shall give him," I said, "a pot for himself." "Good-bye," she said, pressing a paper into my hand. "I've written down some things that _must_ be attended to." "I shan't attend to them," I shouted, as she walked off. "Breakfast in bed," she called back. R. C. L. * * * * * THE EARTHLY HADES. ["I could reel out such a list of notorious Yorkshire criminals ... as would put every other county utterly out of the running."--_Extract from recent letter to "The Pall Mall Gazette."_] Bah! to your boasts of the blackguards of Lancashire; Tush! to your talk of the rascals of Staffs; Come, let me openly mention as rank a shire (Yorks) as you'll find for the riffest of ruffs; Choose all the pick of your Cheese-shire or Pork-shire men, Men who have sunk in the deepest of mud; Deuce of a one can come near to us Yorkshiremen Born with Beelzebub's blue in our blood. "Nuts" who have long left the strait way or narrow gate Swarm on each side of the Swale or the Ouse; Huddersfield vies in its villains with Harrogate; Satan in Sheffield would shake in his shoes; Hull?--though you might not be driven to drat it, you'd Certainly substitute "e" for its "u," And, from a purely unprejudiced attitude, We should pronounce it the worse of the two. Yorks has a side, you see, surely more sinister Far than the shires that would snatch at her fame; So, when you curse at our present Prime Minister, Calling him every conceivable name, We shall accept 'em with sangfroid and phlegm, as he Gives you this practical proof of his powers, Setting his seal to our sinful supremacy, Seeing he comes from this county of ours. * * * * * A FRUGAL MIND. [Illustration: _Doctor._ "Well, Mr. McPhearson, I'm glad to see you out again. You've had a long illness." _McPhearson._ "Ay, Doctor, and varra expensive. I was wunnerin' if it was worth while at ma time o' life."] * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. (_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._)