Punch, or the London Charivari, May 27, 1914Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, May 27, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
"The flowers first; then the tea."
I had bought a catalogue and was scanning it rapidly.
"We don't want flowers," I said. "Our window-box--our garden is already
full. It may be that James, the head boxer, has overdone the pink
geraniums this year, but there it is. We can sack him and promote
Thomas, but the mischief is done. Luckily there are other things we
want. What about a dove-cot? I should like to see doves cooing round our
geraniums."
"Aren't dove-cots very big for a window-box?"
"We could get a small one--for small doves. Do you have to buy the doves
too, or do they just come? I never know. Or there," I broke off
suddenly; "my dear, that's just the thing." And I pointed with my stick.
"We have seven clocks already," said Celia.
"But a sun-dial! How romantic. Particularly as only two of the clocks
go. Celia, if you'd let me have a sundial in my window-box, I would meet
you by it alone sometimes."
"It sounds lovely," she said doubtfully.
"You do want to make this window-box a success, don't you?" I asked as
we wandered on. "Well, then, help me to buy something for it. I don't
suggest one of those," and I pointed to a summer-house, "or even a
weather-cock; but we must do something now we're here. For instance,
what about one of these patent extension ladders, in case the geraniums
grow very tall and you want to climb up and smell them? Or would you
rather have some mushroom spawn? I would get up early and pick the
mushrooms for breakfast. What do you think?"
"I think it's too hot for anything, and I must sit down. Is this seat an
exhibit or is it meant for sitting on?"
"It's an exhibit, but we might easily want to buy one some day, when our
window-box gets bigger. Let's try it."
It was so hot that I think, if the man in charge of the Rustic Bench
Section had tried to move us on, we should have bought the seat at once.
But nobody bothered us. Indeed it was quite obvious that the news that
we owned a large window-box had not yet got about.
"I shall leave you here," I said after I had smoked a cigarette and
dipped into the catalogue again, "and make my purchase. It will be quite
inexpensive; indeed, it is marked in the catalogue at one-and-sixpence,
which means that they will probably offer me the nine-shilling size
first. But I shall be firm. Good-bye."
I went and bought one and returned to her with it.
"No, not now," I said, as she held out her hand eagerly. "Wait till we
get home."
It was cooler now, and we wandered through the tents, chatting
patronisingly to the stall-keeper whenever we came to pink geraniums. At
the orchids we were contemptuously sniffy. "Of course," I said, "for
those who _like_ orchids----" and led the way back to the geraniums
again. It was an interesting afternoon.
And to our great joy the window-box was in position when we got home
again.
"Now!" I said dramatically, and I unwrapped my purchase and placed it in
the middle of our new-made garden.
"Whatever----"
"A slug-trap," I explained proudly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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