These things did not disturb me. Through the fencing I liked to bear in mind that men less free Must toil and tramp, whilst I was just commencing To court the Muses, foolscap on my knee, Helped by the sweet bird in the shade-dispensing Something-or-other tree. I wrote: "Ah, who would be where rough men jostle In dust and grime, like porkers at a trough. When, here is May and May-time's blest apostle----" Just then, without preliminary cough, Suddenly, ere I knew, the actual throstle, Tee'd up and started off. It drowned the distant noise of motor-'buses, It drowned the shunting trains, the traffic's roar, The milk, the bread, the meat, the tradesmen's fusses, And the long secret tale told o'er and o'er That all day long Eliza Jane discusses With the new girl next door. So sweetly the bird sang. Great thrills went through it. It seemed to say, "The glorious sun hath shone, Flooding the world like treacle wrapped round suet; Why should we harp of age and dull years gone?" Time seemed to be no sort of object to it-- It just went on and on. Therefore I rose, and later (o'er the trifle), When Araminta with her tactful gush Asked if the garden seemed to help or stifle The Muses' output, I responded, "Tush; When you go out, my dear, please buy a rifle; I want to shoot that thrush." Evoe. * * * * * Seen in a Birmingham shop window:-- "The Smartest Flannel Trouser in the City, 6/11." If he had another one, even though not quite so smart, we might consider it. * * * * * "The world's longest and most accurate golf ball."--_Advt._ Personally we prefer the short ones when it comes to putting them into the tin. * * * * * THE AMENDING BILL. [Illustration: Mr. Redmond. "WELL RIDDEN!" Mr. Asquith. "YES, I KNOW; BUT AS WE CAME ROUND THE CORNER AN 'OBJECTION' OCCURRED TO ME, AND I FEEL BOUND TO LODGE IT MYSELF. I HOPE YOU WON'T MIND."] * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. (Extracted from the Diary of Toby, M.P.) _House of Commons, Monday, May 18._--Field-Marshal Asquith, on military duty in attendance on the King at Aldershot. Takes opportunity to give His Majesty a few hints on the setting of a squadron in the field. In his absence depression customary on reassembling after week-end recess asserts itself with increased force. Through early portion of Question-hour benches half empty. As hands of clock approached the mark 2.45, stream of arrivals increased in volume. At conclusion of Questions House so densely crowded that side galleries were invaded, and group of Members stood at Bar.