* * * * * "Mr. Palmer would still deserve to be crowned with unfading laurels."--_Times._ Palmer _qui meruit ferat_. * * * * * Latest Cannibal News. "Djaraboub ordinarily contains only 350 inhabitants but these are swollen by pilgrims." _Siam Observer._ * * * * * [Illustration: _First Jack Tar Abroad_ (_to second, very "busy riding"_). "'Ulloa, Bill; looks like yer workin' yer passage." _Bill._ "Yuss; 'ad bloomin' rough weather, too; but it's all right if ye 'old on to this 'ere forestay."] * * * * * VERY MUCH GREATER LONDON. [_One result of the introduction of the Bachelet flying train should certainly be the extension of London's suburbs. We extract the following from a season-ticket holder's diary of the near future._] _Dundee._--Strap-hung again to-day; London train abominably crowded. That is the worst of living in these inner suburbs. Men who live on the other side of the Orkney Tunnel tell me the train only begins seriously to fill up at Caithness; before that, one has reasonable hope of a seat. Brown, for instance, says that, coming up from Kirkwall and entering train before pressure begins, he rarely has to use strap. Don't know how the poor wretches at Newcastle and Durham ever get to town at all, though, living so close to King's Cross, they can perhaps afford to stand for the few minutes they are in train.... No change for better, so have been studying agents' lists; some items attractive. For example:-- _Belgian Tunnel Line._--Antwerp and Liverpool Street in 29 minutes; low season-ticket rates; excellent mid-day service, enabling business men to take luncheon at home. _Charming Maisonettes_ in fine healthy suburb, S.W. London (Penzance district); bath h. and c.; Company's water; two minutes Bachelet Railway-station; 25 minutes Paddington and City. _Sunny Cairo, S.E._--Nice self-contained flats; charming desert view; low rents; ninety-five minutes Charing Cross; five minutes Sahara golf links (inland course but real sand bunkers). _Week-End Cottage for Harassed City Worker, Siberia (near London_).--To be let furnished; bracing air; perfect quiet. * * * * * SYNTHETIC MUTTON. In view of the impending scarcity of meat, so vividly foreshadowed in a recent article in _The Times_, it is most reassuring to learn that a new comestible, palatable and nutritious, yet entirely free from the drawbacks of all flesh foods, has been invented by a German scientist and will shortly be put upon the market at a price which will bring it within the reach of the humblest household.