The cashier at our Goldstead branch has the misfortune to drop his scoop accidentally when cashing a cheque for his worthy mayor of our select suburb.] * * * * * A SPORTING CHANCE. It is generally in the spring that I begin to notice how big my accounts are growing. I don't know why this should be, unless it is because I haven't paid any during the previous year. At any rate you must take my word for it. I have the accounts here. Then, again, it is a most remarkable fact that whenever one has bills to pay one finds there are other things to be bought. A few days ago I discovered that my tailor wanted thirty pounds. I also discovered that I wanted a lighter overcoat and a raincoat. It was a nice problem. On occasions of great difficulty like this I always consult Edith. Edith might have married me if it hadn't been for Henry. Had she accepted me I should probably have gone in for something. As it is I just go on existing. The really sad part of the whole affair is that she seems to be very fond of me. Poor girl! We all make mistakes. Anyhow, apart from her momentary mad infatuation for her husband, she is very sensible and I always like to consult her. Married women are so different from single girls; I don't know why, unless it is that they have husbands. Edith being married, therefore, I rang her up. "I want," I said, "to consult you financially." "Certainly," she replied. "What is it?" "Private. I will come round to tea." I rang off. I made a little parcel of my accounts and then telephoned for a taxi. In due course I found Edith in the drawing-room. "Hello," she said. "Is it very bad trouble?" "We are," I replied, "in deep water. Life is very shallow." Edith laughed; she appreciates wit. "Well, let me see if I can help." I sat down. "I want two new coats," I explained. "My tailor is clamouring for thirty pounds, balance of account owing, and," I added significantly, "there are others. It is going to be a big smash." "Poor boy!" I sighed heavily as I opened the accounts. "Here we are," I said. "Tailor, thirty pounds." I paused and again sighed. "Hatter, three pounds." "Three pounds?" Edith looked amazed. "That's your fault. I bought a new hat for your wedding. Not only was I best, but best-dressed man. I wore beautiful clothes to hide a breaking heart." Edith smiled. "A beautiful hat was perhaps superfluous," she suggested. "They are worn so little in church. Are there any more?" "Plenty. Hatter, three pounds; Glover, one pound----" "What for?" "Gloves. Need I go through the sad list?" Edith shook her head. "What's the total?" "Fifty-four pounds, thirteen and fourpence. I'm hoping to avoid the fourpence in discounts. Total spare cash, twenty pounds, and nearly three months to go before I touch any more." "Poor boy, have you really only twenty pounds?" "To throw about in bills, certainly. I shall want all my other money for rent and food and cash payments."