If he can "conciliate" them, it will truly be very good biz: And so I've _suggested_--no more!--that "the boy"--ah! by Jove, here he is! Poor chap! Two big scuttles--up-stairs! He must find it a terrible pull, With _his_ work too! But if he succeeds--well, the cup of his credit is full. Ah, PRIMROSE, my boy! This _is_ good of you! Two at a time, too. Oh, dear!-- It is not just _your_ work, I'll allow, and you find they are heavy, I fear. But you know what a bother it's been. Some chaps are such obstinate souls!-- But I was quite sure that _you_ wouldn't mind stooping to--taking up coals! * * * * * Why does LOBENGULA, when finding fault with his regiments, appear a great commander? Because then he is an Impi rater. * * * * * QUEER CARDS. (_By a Rural Innkeeper, who has been "had."_) They come to me (a poor old chap!) And take one room--mostly the same; A quiet spot, they say, for Nap: (But "Crib's" their real game.) Their luggage is a smallish trunk, A whopping walking-stick--alway! When for a month they've fed and drunk, I gently hint at pay. They say, "Why, certainly! They mean To dwell some months beneath my roof. So happy they have _never_ been!" (I think they call this "Spoof.") They swear my wife's the best of cooks, They hint they're half in love with SUKEY, My daughter, who _can_ boast good looks (And here begins Blind Hookey). Then, when they're some more weeks in debt, I tell them Tick's last door is shut; When--their knave's tricks not ended yet-- They shuffle--pack--and _cut_! * * * * * BUSINESS. ["France, it is expected, will endeavour to hasten England's evacuation of Egypt, and Russia will try to settle the question of the Dardanelles."--_Daily Chronicle._] Who says that Franco-Russian gush Means naught, to reason's optic? The Russ will help the Frank to rush England, from regions Coptic; And--here JOHN BULL must surely flinch, While Gallia's bosom swells!-- The Bear, if but allowed an inch, Will take--the Dardanelles! * * * * * [Illustration: THE HANDY BOY! THE MISSIS. "I KNEW YOU HAD PLENTY TO DO, PRIMROSE, BUT I WAS QUITE SURE YOU WOULDN'T MIND TAKING UP THOSE COALS!"] * * * * * THE OLD AND NEW SCHOOL--FOR SCANDAL.