_A._ We do. That is why our landlord charges us for these eight rooms on one floor just double what we should have to pay for a large house all to ourselves. _Q._ Thanks for giving me so much information. Of course, I knew there must be some disadvantages. And you won't be surprised to hear that we have taken a flat after all, as they are so fashionable? _A._ On the contrary, I should be quite surprised if you didn't. * * * * * WELCOME TO "JOEY!" [Illustration: "HERE WE ARE AGAIN!"] * * * * * [Illustration: SAD! _Sportsman_ (_proud of his favourite_). "NOW THAT'S A MARE I _MADE_ ENTIRELY MYSELF! MARVELLOUSLY CLEVER, I CAN TELL YOU!" _Non-Sportsman_ (_from town, startled_). "EH, WHAT? DEAR ME! WONDERFULLY CLEVER, CERTAINLY." (_Mentally._) "POOR FELLOW, POOR FELLOW! WHAT A MOST EXTRAORDINARY HALLUCINATION!"] * * * * * HOME RAILS. (_By a Mournful Moralist._) Each day my heart with pity throbs; Can sympathy refuse The ready tears, the frequent sobs, When reading City news? Not long ago I daily found That you were good and "strong"-- You gained but little, I'll be bound, Nor kept that little long; Yet I was happy, since it meant That, for a blissful term, You were so very excellent, So "steady" and so "firm." Prosperity brings pride to all; You rose too high to sell. Then--pride must always have a fall-- You lamentably fell. Think what your altered state has cost. Alas, you must confess That you are ruined since you lost Your noble steadiness! "Unsettled" then--oh, feeble will!-- "Inactive" you were too. There's Someone "finds some mischief still For idle hands to do." "Why be inactive? All should work. Rise then, and do not seek Good honest enterprise to shirk, Because you're rather "weak." Alas, what use exhorting that Your fall you should annul? When some remark that you are "flat," And others call you "dull." At times I hoped that you would turn, And mend your evil ways, That you were "better," I would learn, And "quiet" on some days. But now your baseness fitly ends, "Irregular"--and so You are "neglected" by your friends, Who all pronounce you "low." This conduct gives me such a shock, I wipe my streaming eyes-- I want to sell some railway stock; I'm waiting for the rise! * * * * * THE "ULTRA FASHIONABLE DINNER-HOUR" WHEN DICKENS WROTE _MARTIN CHUZZLEWIT_.--It is mentioned by _Montague Tigg_, when that typical swindler gives _Jonas Chuzzlewit_ an invitation to a little dinner. It was "seven." Very few have guessed it, but most correspondents have referred to the dinner-hour at _Todgers's_. But _Todgers's_ was a very second-class establishment.