Sweet youth! I wonder if you'll feel much pain To know that that sweet soul-inspiring strain You whistle at so wonderful a rate Is now in point of fact quite out of date. Down in the country pr'aps you hardly know At what a pace these street-songs come and go. At present you're a day behind the fair, And want (as I myself) a change of air. You should protest you're being driven crazy By waiting for the answer of fair DAISY; Or else ask sadly what was she to do Who, "silly girl," got taken on to Crewe. Whistle _that_ charming ditty, if you must, Until, (forgive the phrase) until you bust, But do _not_ whistle, if you wish to rank As in the know, "_The Man who broke the Bank_." * * * * * UPON JULIA'S MOTHER. (_To depart presently._) Julia, I deemed that I had wed Not thine, but only thee; A child I wept my mother sped, Thou'st given thine to me. She came as wandering sea-birds come To rest upon a spar Of ships that trail the lights of home Where homeless billows are. From Aix-les-Bains to Harrogate, From Bath to Tunbridge Wells, She's sojourned in Imperial state, Yet here content she dwells. Content--and yet no truce with truth Such Roman mothers know; Quick to detect the faults of youth, And prompt to tell us so. I knew not I possess'd the charms Her wandering will to bind, To keep me from my JULIA'S arms, And mould the baby's mind. When first I held thee to my breast I little dreamt the day Another bird would share the nest As there content to stay. Thy kindred, dear, I wooed not them, Such wealth I'd fain resign; Since I have won the brightest gem I covet not the mine. * * * * * Mrs. R. says that when she thinks the drains are likely to be offensive she invariably uses "bucolic." * * * * * [Illustration: A CRISIS IN CONJUGAL LIFE. _Fond Husband._ "LOOK HERE, ETHEL, I SEE YOU DAILY GETTING THINNER AND PALER; YOU CANNOT EAT, YOU CANNOT SLEEP, WHILE I FIND LIFE A BURDEN TO ME. I CAN BEAR IT NO LONGER! LET US MAKE A BARGAIN. IF YOU PROMISE NOT TO GIVE ME A CHRISTMAS PRESENT, I'LL PROMISE NOT TO GIVE _YOU_ ONE. THERE!"] * * * * * FAREWELL! (_On hearing that snow had fallen in the North._)