My love is an astronomer, Whose knowledge I rely on, She'll talk about, as I prefer, The satellites of Jupiter, The nebulous Orion. When evening shades about us fall Each hour too quickly passes. We take no heed of time at all, When studying celestial Phenomena through glasses. The salient features we descry Of all the starry pattern; To see with telescopic eye The citizens of Mars we try, Or speculate on Saturn. To find another planet still If ever we're enabled, The world discovered by her skill As "ANGELINA TOMKYNS" will Triumphantly be labelled. The likeness of the stars elsewhere By day we view between us, We recognise the Greater Bear, I grieve to say, in TOMKYNS _père_, And close at hand is Venus! In fact, the editorial note Above, which is of course meant To lead more ladies to devote Attention to the stars, I quote With cordial endorsement! * * * * * "IN THE NAME OF THE PROPHET!"--Which is the right way of spelling the name of the Prophet of Islam? Is it MOHAMMED? MAHOMET? MUHAMMED? or MAHOMED? Are his followers Mohammedans? Mahommedans? Mahometans? Moslems? Mussulmen? or Muslims? Perhaps, to adapt _Mr. Mantalini's_ famous summary, and merely substituting "all" for "both," and "none of 'em" for "neither," we may say "So all are right, and none of 'em wrong, upon our life and soul, O demmit!" * * * * * UNDER THE ROSE. (_A Story in Scenes._) SCENE IX.--CHARLES COLLIMORE'S _Sitting-room at Keppel Street, Bloomsbury_. TIME--_Saturday afternoon_. _Mrs. Cagney_ (_the landlady, showing_ Mr. TOOVEY _in_). Oh, I thought Mr. COLLIMORE had come in, Sir, but I expect him in every minute. Will you take a seat? _Mr. Toovey_ (_sitting down_). Thank you, I'm in no hurry--no hurry at all. (_To himself._) CORNELIA wished me to put a few questions quietly to the landlady. I suppose I'd better do it while----(_Aloud._) Hem, I hope, Ma'am, that you find Mr. COLLIMORE a--an unexceptionable lodger--in all respects? _Mrs. Cagn._ (_crossing her hands stiffly in front of her_). Mr. COLLIMORE conducks hisself as a gentleman, and treats me as a lady, which is all _my_ requirements. _Mr. Toov._ Quite so--very satisfactory, I'm sure, but--does he keep fairly regular hours? Or is he at all inclined to be--er--fast? _Mrs. Cagn._ (_on her guard_). I can't answer for the time his watch keeps, myself. I dessay it goes as reg'lar as what most do. _Mr. Toov._ No, no; I was referring to his habits. I mean--does he usually spend his evenings quietly at home? _Mrs. Cagn._ You'll excuse _me_, but if you're arsking me all these questions out of mere himpertinent curiosity---- _Mr. Toov._ I--I trust I have a higher motive, Ma'am. In fact, I may as well tell you I am Mr. COLLIMORE'S uncle.