_Tommy_ (_to Caller_). "OH, WE'VE BEEN HAVING SUCH FUN! PAPA HAS BEEN PUTTING ON MAMMA'S HAIR AND FRIGHTENING BABY!"] * * * * * LITTLE MASTER MINORITY. _A Dialogue in Dialect, some way after Bret Harte's "Jim."_ [Referring, in the course of conversation, to the deadlock in the Senate, Mr. CHAMBERLAIN said:--"My opinion is that the Americans are the most patient people on the globe. Such an outcome from an organised system of obstruction would be impossible in England, which I venture to say, with my foot on New York soil, is far more democratic than America. Democracy, as I take it, means the government of the people by the people."--_The "Times'" New York Correspondent, Oct. 13._] "C[oe]lum, non (?) animum, mutant, qui trans mare currunt." _Jonathan to Joseph, loquitur:_-- Say thar! P'r'aps You're of them chaps _Approve_ this child, Who makes _me_ wild!-- _No?_--no offence: Thar ain't much sense In gittin' riled! JOE, old chum, Welcome ye are! Say! Ye've jest come Up from down thar. Lookin' round, JOE? That's right, Sir! _You_ Ain't of that crew Makes freedom rar'. _Tory?_ Not much, That ain't _my_ kind: I ain't no such,-- Democrat--blind! Rayther like _you_! Well, this yer boy (With his derned toy), Is a fair limb.-- Not much--in size! Stirs _your_ surprise?-- Wal, that _is_ strange: _Your_ nipper, now, Riz up some row, Down under thar, Ony this year! Since you came here. You've felt a change! Wal, he licks _us_! Eh? _Spank him_, you say! _Spank?_-- _This_ little cuss? You make me star,-- Down under, thar, Minorities stop Truck--in your shop, And _you_ don't rar'! Here, wide awake To our mistake. _Our_ boy you bar! _Spank!_-- This--little--cuss? Wal, he does fuss, Raises a muss. His "Silver" whim, His spoutin' prank-- (Leather-lung'd limb!) Does crab the swim. _Should_ like to yank Him crost my knees, And--but thar! spank _Him?_ _Patient_, Sir--I? No democrat? Here, Sir, stand by! I can't stand _that_! _You_ wouldn't stand _Him_--in your land? Eh? What's that you say? Why, dern it!--sho!-- Draw it mild, JOE! Bold? Obstruction? Yes! Still, as I guess-- Though I'll confess _You_'re an authority-- 'Tain't no new thing (_You_'ve had your fling!), But ornery, Derned old, Loud-lunged--Minority! Little--Master--Minority! * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.