_The Newc._ (_putting his back against the door_). Not yet, Ma'am; not yet. You don't go like this; after insulting this young lady, to whom I've the honour of being engaged, and telling her you're my wife, and then smacking my face in her presence. I've my dignity to consider, and I want satisfaction out of you. Come, we won't have a row here, for the sake of this young lady; just step out into lobby here, and I'll give you in charge for assault. Stay where you are, MILLY, my dear. Now, Ma'am, will you go, or shall I send for a constable? (Mrs. T. _totters out, protesting incoherently, and begging to be released_.) Well, I don't want to spoil my evening's pleasure on your account. You give me your name and address, and I'll simply summon you for assault; which is more than you deserve. If you won't, I'll charge you! _Mrs. Toov._ (_reluctantly_). Oh, indeed it was an acc----I will _not_ give you my name. Yes, yes, I will; anything to get out of this horrible place. (_The young man produces a pencil, and pulls down his left shirt cuff._) Mrs.--TOO--no, I don't mean TOO--TOMKINSON JONES--The--the Laburnums--U--upper Tooting. There, _now_ are you satisfied? _The Young Man_ (_recording it_). Thank you, that's all _I_ require. You'll hear from me later on. Good evening! _Mrs. Toov._ (_as she crawls down the staircase_). I have only just saved myself by a--a _fib_! And I haven't even found Pa out. But I _will_. I'll go straight home and sit up for him! END OF SCENE XI. * * * * * [Illustration: IMPROVED GNOMENCLATURE. (_A popular Song adapted to the Glacial Period._) "ON AN ICICLE MADE FOR TWO."] * * * * * FRAGMENTS FROM A FRANCO-RUSSIAN PHRASE-BOOK. (_Picked up at Toulon after the recent Fêtes._) AT THE BANQUET.