On reflection I found that very few presents would have escaped the endowment scheme altogether, and that the cigarette-case was really a comparatively modest pensioner, and I felt a little comforted. For four quarters I remitted five guineas to Jane's uncle. My present seemed to change his nature. Whereas he had been a man rather to ignore the claims of clothes than to consider them, I now noticed that he looked more prosperous and was better dressed than I had ever seen him before. Once, when he appeared in a new lounge suit--the second new one within my knowledge in six months--I could not refrain from remarking on it. "One has to dress up to a silver cigarette-case, old fellow," he said, and the subject was dismissed. The year was on the point of expiring. One day I was talking with Jane's uncle and another man at the Club. The other man offered me a cigarette, and to my amazement passed Jane's uncle over with these words:-- "No good offering you one, I know, poor old chap. When is your doctor going to give you a reprieve?" "I don't know," he said sadly, taking a pinch of snuff. "What does this mean?" I said when we were alone. "What about the endowment at the rate of fifteen cigarettes a day?" "A parallel case to Jane's," he answered. "There seems something fatal about these endowments. Three days after you had agreed to endow the cigarette-case my doctor forbade me, on pain of some awful 'itis,' to exceed three cigarettes a day. With the first instalment you had provided me with cigarettes for the year. So what should I do in these circumstances but follow the precedent set by your family? Only, instead of a dormouse and a stamp-album, I chose to purchase smartness. I spent the three remaining instalments on my wardrobe." * * * * * It was my birthday yesterday. Jane's uncle sent me a handsome silver-mounted walking-stick. "It is the only thing I can think of that requires no endowment," he wrote. "Pavements are supplied by the County Council, and you have an umbrella-stand." I should like to use it across his back. * * * * * Illustration: _First Lady._ "I SEE THE MASTER CUTTING A DASH THIS MORNING. NOBODY WOULDN'T THINK HE WAS HARD UP." _Second Lady._ "LOR' BLESS YER, NO! SINCE THIS 'ERE MERRYTORIUM COME IN HE WALKS DOWN THE HIGH STREET IN FRONT OF ALL THE SHOPS AS THOUGH HE DIDN'T OWE 'EM A PENNY." * * * * * Illustration: THROUGH GERMAN SPECTACLES. _Germany._ "PERMIT ME TO RECOMMEND THESE GLASSES, MADE IN GERMANY, AND GUARANTEED TO GIVE AN UNUSUALLY WIDE AND LUMINOUS VIEW--SAME, IN FACT, AS MINE." _Italy_. "VERY KIND AND THOUGHTFUL, I'M SURE; BUT I CAN SEE QUITE NICELY, THANK YOU. I CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU, FOR INSTANCE, WITH THE NAKED EYE. _GOOD_ MORNING." * * * * * MR. PUNCH'S HOLIDAY STORIES. IV.--IN THE HIGHLAND FORESTS. (_In the approved manner of the Sporting Feuilleton._)